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Over the years, I have heard from many women who feel they have more of a right to speak harshly and disrespectfully to their husband than he does to speak unlovingly toward her.
A minor unannounced U-turn after church escalates into hours of tears and despair for one wife, revealing how everyday preferences quickly spiral into the Crazy Cycle of missing love and respect.
As a new believer in Christ at age sixteen, I recall one night going outside my home in Peoria, Illinois, and crying out to God to show Himself to me to confirm that what I believed about Him was true. “Just appear to me!” I begged of God.
Most of us long for a better marriage, and that longing is to be applauded. However, how might some go about improving the relationship?
When I went off to military school in eighth grade, where I stayed for the next five years, there was another cadet who entered eighth grade with me.
Permit me to ask you a question. As a husband, in your deepest heart do you want to come across in an unloving manner toward your wife during conflict? 1. I do not want to be unloving when I disagree with my wife. 2. I want to be unloving when I disagree with my wife. As a wife, in your deepest heart do you want to come across in a disrespectful manner toward your husband during conflict?
Q: After 19 years of living on the crazy cycle and after months of counseling, I have no hope due to my husband’s narcissism. I talked and talked until I don't want to hear myself. He says I have driven him away and his "friendships" … his criticisms of me have left me wounded and hurt and nagging to just stay together when I know it’s God’s plan for this to not just exist but to thrive as an example to our children of His love. He is ready to file for a divorce because he says he has tried everything and he just despises seeing or hearing my voice...he has shut down. He said he is ready to have a woman to have fun with and to not fight with.Emerson says:
Meet Tony and Ginger. Be encouraged as they share how their broken marriage was restored. As Tony states, “Love and Respect is good, practical, down-to-earth advice.” Listen as they share how these principles helped them see each other in a new way and how they made a conscious choice to do things differently.
Some years ago when we were pastoring and our boys were younger, we had some missionaries stay in our home for several days. After a reminder in how they should behave, they were perfect angels the entire time (this may have qualified as a miracle)! Our plan had worked...or so we thought! Kids Can Be Good Only So Long
“Emerson, in a conflict with my husband he inevitably withdraws from me. He puts up a barrier to prevent me from emotionally connecting. He stops talking. What should I do?” I hear you. When married to someone who stonewalls, “withdrawals” are not worth it!Research reveals in intimate, committed relationships 85% of those who emotionally retreat and refuse to answer are men.
“Emerson, you say most men don’t want to talk but my wife and I are the opposite when an argument starts. She goes quiet. She won’t engage me in any type of dialogue. She withdraws from the conversation and puts up a barrier to any further discussion. What should I do?” I hear you. When married to someone who stonewalls, “withdrawals” are not worth it! Research reveals in intimate, committed relationships 85% of those who emotionally retreat and refuse to answer are men. That means 15% of the women also withdraw and stonewall.
Q: I recently found out my wife is involved in an emotional affair. She says she is in love with him, that she never loved me, and that she feels no passion in our marriage. I still love my wife and want this marriage to work. Is there any hope for us? We have three young children and I am devastated. Dr. E says: First of all, yes, there is hope. But you have entered a time of suffering and you will need Godly support and wise counsel to get through this as a man of honor. Thank you for reaching out. Your children are worth every effort!
We greatly appreciate the vulnerability and honesty of countless couples who write to us not only sharing their pain in marriage but also the victory in overcoming obstacles. One such couple is Bernhard and Vikki Langer. Bernhard Langer is a Professional Golfer and two time winner of the Masters, winner of the 2010 and 2014 Senior British Open and the 2010 Senior U.S. Open. He was known as one of the world’s best golfers throughout the 80s and 90s.Everything Changed
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