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Book cover titled 'Lightbulb Moments in Marriage' by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, featuring 12 biblical perspectives for successful and satisfied couples.

Lightbulb Moments in Marriage:

12 Biblical Perspectives for Successful and Satisfied Couples

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Newly Released Content

Enjoy this week's Article, Podcast episode, and Ask Emerson question and answer.

How Do I Deal with the Feeling That When I Apologize, My Spouse Will Use That Against Me?

How Do I Deal with the Feeling That When I Apologize, My Spouse Will Use That Against Me?

Many of us know we were wrong but hold back the apology, afraid our spouse will turn it into proof that everything is our fault.

Marriage
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Episode
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How Do I Deal with the Feeling That When I Apologize, My Spouse Will Use That Against Me?
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When She Wants More Sexual Intimacy

When She Wants More Sexual Intimacy

What happens when she is the one who wants more sexual intimacy, and every time she brings it up, she hears rejection and he hears a demand?

Marriage
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277
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When She Wants More Sexual Intimacy
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Is It Okay to Expect to Be Special to My Husband, Making Me a Priority Above His Family?

Is It Okay to Expect to Be Special to My Husband, Making Me a Priority Above His Family?

We read in Genesis 2:24 that God’s plan is for a man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Unfortunately, some husbands never cut the umbilical cord.

Is It Okay to Expect to Be Special to My Husband, Making Me a Priority Above His Family?
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My Spouse and I Love Each Other, So Why Does It Sometimes Feel as Though We Are Headed in Different Directions?

My Spouse and I Love Each Other, So Why Does It Sometimes Feel as Though We Are Headed in Different Directions?

Two people can deeply love each other and still want different things.

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Trusted Leaders on the Love & Respect Message

Eric Metaxas

Eric Metaxas

New York Times #1 best-selling author (Bonhoeffer, Martin Luther and more) and host of the Eric Metaxas Radio Show. He is the founder and host of “Socrates in the City: Conversations on the Unexamined Life."

“With his Love and Respect concept, Emerson Eggerichs has discovered what can only be described as the Holy Grail of marital counseling. It is an absolutely extraordinary and revolutionary -and utterly biblical – understanding of marriage, and it was under our noses for two-thousand years, waiting for us to find it. On behalf of married couples the world over, I am thrilled someone finally did.”

Dave Ramsey

Dave Ramsey

New York Times best-selling author and radio host. America’s trusted voice on money and business.

“Occasionally I run into somebody whose material, what they’re teaching, and the quality of the person rocks my world. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs spoke at our offices the other day and had our team laughing and crying and punching each other, in a loving way of course. My oldest daughter is getting married and this is one of her favorite marriage books. Thank goodness. That means she's got a shot. She’s going to make it."

Michael Hyatt

Michael Hyatt

Former Chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers and Founder of Full Focus, a performance coaching company.

“Although we have read numerous books on marriage and attended many seminars, this one was truly unique. In fact, it is probably the most helpful one we have ever experienced.

Gail and I were so impressed with the seminar and the book that we are considering starting a couple’s class this fall in our home. We have ordered the DVDs, because we want people to get the content directly from Emerson. He is a great communicator.”

Andy Andrews

Andy Andrews

New York Times best-selling author of How Do You Kill 11 Million People, The Noticer & The Traveler’s Gift

“My parents died when I was nineteen. No one is ever prepared for that kind of thing, of course, but there has always existed an odd gap in what I understood about my mother and father. For instance, what books were my parent’s favorites. What would they have wanted me to read? To whom would they have insisted I listen? I have no idea, for no one ever told me.

Today, my wife and I have two boys of our own. With every breath we take and every prayer we offer up, Polly and I are preparing for the possibility that our boys might one day need to know what we know. Therefore, a copy of “Love and Respect” is already signed to each of our boys from Mom and Dad. The books are tucked away for now, but the substance inside its pages is already being taught. In “Love and Respect”–the book and the seminar–Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has crafted an understanding of a principle so life changing that it is difficult to overstate its power. Simply put, listen carefully to what this man has to say and read carefully what he has written. This material will transform your relationships, your children, your finances, and your legacy.”

Bernhard Langer

Bernhard Langer

Professional Golfer, two time Masters winner PGA Tour, All Time PGA Tour Champions Major and Victories Leader.

“We were fascinated by the message, by the material. It was totally different to anything we had heard before. And our relationship changed from day one. And it got better. My wife learned to respect me more and I learned to love her more the way she needed to be loved not the way I thought I ought to love her.”

James Dobson

James Dobson

Founder and former President of Focus on the Family. He is now founder and President of Family Talk, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, “Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk.” He is the author of more than 30 books dedicated to the preservation of the family

“I have been concerned for many years about a problem that I was a part of. And I have tried to rectify it…There is another half… the Scripture makes it clear… Those of us who speak to families have not gotten around to that side of the story… Now, it’s even more important in this culture…It is a two sided coin and we’ve been pretty short on the second side of it. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs …is … balancing this scale. This is such an important message… one of the best because he is talking about the two sided coin of love and respect. There is a Scriptural foundation for that in the 5th chapter of Ephesians. It is time that the scales were balanced, that we saw the other side of the coin, to mix a metaphor. This is a vitally important message. Anything you invest in your spouse will come back to you. That’s the way the system works. When it is not symbiotic, when it is only one person saying, “You’re not meeting my needs” then the other person is not really motivated to do that frequently. They need to know that you care about them too. When it is a two sided thing, it works far better” (October 29,30, 2003 Focus on the Family radio broadcast).

Apparently the listeners agreed. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ two day message on Focus on the Family was the #1 responded to program for 2003. There is an actual audience of 2.6 million people. Dr. Dobson said in letter to Emerson, “Clearly I am not the only one impacted by your message, your program has become our most requested broadcast of the year! Thanks again for this crucial information. I have no doubt there are marriages out there are on the road to recovery thanks to your sage advice."

Meg Meeker, M.D.

Meg Meeker, M.D.

Physician and best-selling author of Strong Mothers, Strong Sons.

“As a pediatrician of 30 years, I can say without question, thesingle most important gift any parent can give his child is a healthy marriage. Love and Respect gives every married or engaged person the tools necessary to build a strong marriage., There is no other program or book that offers such clear, sage and workable advice anywhere in the marriage aisles of bookstores. I can tell you that the lessons I learned in the book, helped my marriage.”

Shaunti Feldhahn

Shaunti Feldhahn

Social researcher and best-selling author of For Women Only and For Men Only.

“Millions of lives and marriages – and in many ways, our whole culture – are completely different today because of the work of Emerson Eggerichs and Love and Respect ministries. And my life and ministry is at the top of the list! There is absolutely no way my research, our ministry or any of our books – especially For Women Only — would have been the same if Emerson hadn’t shared so generously from his wealth of experience every step of the way. Emerson and I both felt, when our books were published in 2004 (three weeks apart!) that God wanted to change the paradigm in our culture for how everyone viewed the needs of men and women, and especially to understand that men’s primary need is respect. Ten years later, that paradigm has truly been changed, largely through Emerson’s pioneering work and leadership. It is awe-inspiring to look back and watch how God’s hand has moved through the Love and Respect ministry every step of the way.”

Kendrick Vinar

Kendrick Vinar

Lead Pastor - Grace Church of Chapel Hill

I couldn't recommend Dr. Eggerichs highly enough. I call him the Billy Graham of Marriage. He has a calling to teach the body of Christ about marriage.

Tom Archipley

Tom Archipley

Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, and Former owner and CEO of Centurion Medical Products Corporation

"I believe that the message you are sharing is powerful enough to change the world. It is the most important, valuable message I have ever heard and has blessed our marriage in ways that can only be explained as supernatural."

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The Crazy Cycle

In this first episode we talk about who we are, the genesis of the show, some current happenings with Love and Respect, and focus on the Crazy Cycle, the first part of the Love and Respect book.

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Latest Episodes
How Do I Deal with the Feeling That When I Apologize, My Spouse Will Use That Against Me?

How Do I Deal with the Feeling That When I Apologize, My Spouse Will Use That Against Me?

Many of us know we were wrong but hold back the apology, afraid our spouse will turn it into proof that everything is our fault.

Marriage
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Episode
278
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44
How Do I Deal with the Feeling That When I Apologize, My Spouse Will Use That Against Me?
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When She Wants More Sexual Intimacy

When She Wants More Sexual Intimacy

What happens when she is the one who wants more sexual intimacy, and every time she brings it up, she hears rejection and he hears a demand?

Marriage
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Episode
277
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45
When She Wants More Sexual Intimacy
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If My Spouse Emotionally Hurt Me, Am I Supposed to Assume Goodwill?

If My Spouse Emotionally Hurt Me, Am I Supposed to Assume Goodwill?

When your spouse hurts you, it is easy to jump from “that hurt me” to “you wanted to hurt me.” Emerson explains the goodwill pause.

Marriage
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If My Spouse Emotionally Hurt Me, Am I Supposed to Assume Goodwill?
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Your Love and Respect Book Is Going in the Garbage Because You Claim a Wife Does Not Need Respect

Your Love and Respect Book Is Going in the Garbage Because You Claim a Wife Does Not Need Respect

A reader told Emerson she was ready to throw Love and Respect in the bin because she believed it claims a wife does not need respect. Emerson reads her full letter, then walks through the exact pages she cited to show where they truly agree and where an honest disagreement remains.

Marriage
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Your Love and Respect Book Is Going in the Garbage Because You Claim a Wife Does Not Need Respect
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Basic Principles of Effective Communication

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John is a student writing a paper on male and female communication. He emailed me saying, "I would be honored if you would please take a few, brief moments and answer three questions for me."Question #1: In your opinion, what communication breakdowns occur between males and females?

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Is It Okay to Expect to Be Special to My Husband, Making Me a Priority Above His Family?

Is It Okay to Expect to Be Special to My Husband, Making Me a Priority Above His Family?

We read in Genesis 2:24 that God’s plan is for a man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Unfortunately, some husbands never cut the umbilical cord.

Is It Okay to Expect to Be Special to My Husband, Making Me a Priority Above His Family?
Marriage
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When You Can’t Explain to Your Spouse How You Are Feeling Unloved or Disrespected

When You Can’t Explain to Your Spouse How You Are Feeling Unloved or Disrespected

When You Can’t Explain to Your Spouse How You Are Feeling Unloved or Disrespected
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Does Your Spouse Intend to Offend?

Does Your Spouse Intend to Offend?

Does Your Spouse Intend to Offend?
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Can You Make These Four Statements When Disagreeing?

Can You Make These Four Statements When Disagreeing?

Can You Make These Four Statements When Disagreeing?
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Four Questions to Ask Yourself When Disagreeing with Your Spouse

Four Questions to Ask Yourself When Disagreeing with Your Spouse

Four Questions to Ask Yourself When Disagreeing with Your Spouse
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Ask Emerson

Find an answer to some of the most common questions Emerson receives or submit one of your own as a member

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Is It Possible To Have a Win-Win Marriage?

The concept of a win-win marriage may seem like a myth to some couples, but is it really impossible to achieve? Emerson shares the experiences of couples who have discovered the possibility of a win-win marriage and the mindset that is needed to make it a reality. He also explores the importance of unity in a marriage and how it relates to God's plan for couples.

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Your questions

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My Spouse and I Love Each Other, So Why Does It Sometimes Feel as Though We Are Headed in Different Directions?

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How Do You and Sarah Respond to Your Differences Without Triggering Each Other?

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What Good Might Come to Us Precisely Because My Spouse Is Not Like Me?

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How Do We Become a “We” Without Losing the “Me”?

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Why Is Your New Children’s Book Actually A Children’s Book For Adults?

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When We Have Conflict Between Us, Why Can't My Husband Respond Like I Expect Him To?

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What Do You Mean When You Say the Spouse with the Lesser Need Often Has the Greater Power?

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Why Does My Spouse Keep Pointing to One Incident from the Past as Proof of Who We Really Are?

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My Spouse Says, "I Don't Feel Emotionally Safe." What Does That Mean?

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Why Does My Wife Keep Bringing Up Things from the Past?

Marriage

Why Is It So Hard to Protect Vulnerabilities We Do Not Personally Experience?

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Why Is It Wrong for Me to Tell My Wife She Shouldn't Feel Hurt, But Acceptable for Her to Tell Me I Shouldn't Feel Disrespected?

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Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study - Couple's Kit

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study - Couple's Kit

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Building Blocks DVD Study - Couple's Kit

Building Blocks DVD Study - Couple's Kit

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Respectfully Yours - Leader's Kit

Respectfully Yours - Leader's Kit

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Mother & Son

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Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

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