God designed a husband and wife to need sexual intimacy as part of His wonderful plan. Theologians affirm that marital sex brings immense pleasure, not just procreation. However, some couples struggle to discuss their sexual intimacy, particularly when they differ in frequency and methods. This collection page addresses finding a balance, fostering transparent conversations about sexual preferences, and practical suggestions on how to satisfy mutually. Hear 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 in the Message translation. "Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband."
What Can a Wife Do When Feeling Neglected Sexually on a Regular Basis?
Based on God’s summary statement on marriage in Ephesians 5:33, we conclude that above all else, women desire to feel loved unconditionally and that men, above all, desire to be respected for who they are as a man. However, when it comes to marriage, does the emphasis on unconditional love mean wives do not want sex?
Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 3 - Mutual Does Not Mean the Same
In parts 1 and 2, we discussed a key difference in men and women’s approaches toward sex. Though both desire and need sex, we need to understand a wife’s interpretation of sex through the love lens and the husband’s interpretation of sex through the respect grid. I take this position because God commands the husband to love his wife in Ephesians 5:33 (C.O.U.P.L.E.) and commands a wife to respect her husband in that same verse (C.H.A.I.R.S.). (Please read parts 1 and 2 of this 3-part blog series for a more complete explanation of C.O.U.P.L.E. and C.H.A.I.R.S.) Every married couple that is concerned about their sexual intimacy needs to answer the following with honesty and accuracy.
Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 2 - Is It Just About Sex for the Man?
In part 1 of this series, we discussed how even Hollywood unwittingly supports God’s design for unconditional love being absolutely vital to a woman in order for her to truly enjoy sex with a man long-term. Because in the end, for her the perennial question will always be, “Do you love me for me—unconditionally?” And when he assures her of his unconditional love toward her by acting out C.O.U.P.L.E.—the six biblical ways God’s Word reveals that a man should love his wife—he will be hitting on all cylinders the premiere aphrodisiac for his wife.
Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 1 - Even Hollywood Gets It About Women
In my opinion, anyone who watches movies gets the message that men and women have sexual needs and desires but that they are not the same. In the movie For the Love of the Game, Billy Chapel (played by Kevin Costner) and Jane Aubrey (Kelly Preston) meet and hook up sexually. Because Billy travels as a professional baseball pitcher with the Detroit Tigers, they make a deal. Jane says, "So, when you're away, I'll live my life and you'll live yours. And none of this 'why didn't you call me?' crap. And what you do when you're not with me has nothing to do with me, and vice versa. No questions asked, no worrying, no obsessing."
How Have You and Your Spouse Achieved Win-Win in Your Sexual Intimacy? (Part II)
In a previous article, I wrote about some of the disheartening times when Paul’s Holy Spirit-inspired words on sexual intimacy in 1 Corinthians 7 were spun so as to justify one-sided coercion rather than mutual consent. Unfortunately, throughout history many husbands have taken a one-sided position to 1 Corinthians 7:4 and demanded fulfillment of their male conjugal rights. This is clearly contrary to Abba Father's revelation to husbands and wives and ignores the second half of 1 Corinthians 7:4.
How Have You and Your Spouse Achieved Win-Win in Your Sexual Intimacy? (Part 1)
In the near future, I will be going deeper on the topic of sex in marriage for all of our Love and Respect friends. The title? Love and Respect (and Sex): Coming Together as Husband and Wife. Interested in learning more? Would you like to add your stories to the content? Read on, and I’ll show you how.
His Need for Sexual Intimacy—Not Wrong, Just Different
If there were ever an issue that sn’t really the issue, it is sex. But boy can it become an issue, can’t it? And yet, it’s rarely, if ever, the issue. Allow me to explain. Sex is a shared act, between husband and wife, as an expression of love to each other. God created sex not only as the means for multiplication but as a gift of pleasure to enjoy within the boundaries of marriage. Sex was meant to be a wonderful experience for both husband and wife.
For Your Spouse, “Cleaving” Probably Means Something Different than What It Means to You
We read in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” It is from this verse that we get the well-known saying that a husband “leaves and cleaves.” But for the husband who interprets this scriptural command to “leave and cleave” and become “one flesh” as purely sexual, I have some disappointing news to share with them. For most wives, cleaving does indeed mean a face-to-face closeness, but not in a sexual way. For her, this face-to-face closeness entails talking about the things that matter to her.
An Aphrodisiac for Your Wife: C.O.U.P.L.E.
Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss the essential elements of an aphrodisiac for wives. Drawing on insights from the Love & Respect Book and Workbook, they emphasize the crucial role of emotional closeness in fostering a satisfying sexual relationship.
Tuesday Night is Coming Part 2 - A Good Woman's View of Sex
As a sequel to a very popular podcast, Tuesday Night Is Coming, Emerson and Jonathan discuss a powerful and insightful email from a woman who details the way many wives feel about sex in relationship to their husband. Both husbands and wives will appreciate this episode.
Tuesday Night is Coming, So Who Decides About Sexual Intimacy?
“But if you should marry…such will have trouble in this life…” (1 Corinthians 7:28). Scripture teaches there will be trouble in marriage. Get ready for it! In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss preferences and needs around the issue of sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.