Testimonials

My wife and I thoroughly enjoyed the conference at Calvary in Charlotte. We went more than a year ago in Winston Salem when I had just moved back into the house after a 6-month separation. Neither my wife nor I cheated on each other. However, we got caught on the Crazy Cycle for 13 years, could not identify it, and thus, could not get off of it. We were in DEEP! At the conference two weeks ago, I rated our marriage at a '5' of '7'. That is pretty good considering we were at a '0' in Winston. In Winston Salem, I must say that I really did not hear anything of Saturday's teaching on the Energizing Cycle because all I could do was replay in my mind the Crazy Cycle material from the night before. We were so undone that the Energizing Cycle was not even applicable. We had not been physically intimate for almost two years. The biggest step for us was to start seeing each other as 'good-willed' people again. This time it was different.Because God has so moved in our marriage and our intimacy is back, the Energizing Cycle was very applicable, and I listened to Saturday's material very intently.I would suggest multiple conferences for everyone, but especially for couples who go to the first one in real crisis. Applying the Crazy Cycle insights got us from a '0' to a '5'. Now our prayers are that we will be a '7' very soon.

"I will go find your book which is on my bookshelf. Your emails have kindled the spark again."

"I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity to tell you some great news. With the help of the 15 day challenge, my marriage is on much better footing.  Probably in the best place we have ever been in years.  I will tell you that the most challenging of your challenges was to apologize.  I feel like I am always saying I am sorry for something so it seemed like a broken record but I did it. Well, just yesterday, my wife looks me right in the eye and says, "...for the past three weeks you have been the most amazing husband"...You and your wife have truly been instrumental in saving my marriage. Be blessed sir."

...When I look back, it seems to me that the individual lessons were so created that the tension increases with each lesson. It was like a good criminal novel. I found myself in every lesson. Although I had already heard certain content, I experienced them in a completely different way. Maybe more mature. Then came the fifth lesson: My Response is My Responsibility. BAM! The content hit me like "a-ton-of-bricks”, as if it was written for me personally. This lesson exposed my biggest challenge, which has crippled me for many years. Of course, this does not mean my problem with wrong responses will be solved overnight. If I rely on God's Word and ask for the help from the Holy Spirit then it will be easier.

I came reluctant to give my husband the respect that I know I am biblically commanded to do. Praise God…I learned some valuable insights and tools to turn that around. And, I know that I am not alone!

"Thank you! I began the 15 day plan and then my husband several days later. I had shared a few and that inspired him. It spoke to both of us. We had read your book " Love & Respect" some years ago and we could relate but whether timing or format it really made an impact this time. I see an improvement in my husband and now when we head in the direction of the crazy cycle we recognize it & can laugh instead of argue!...Needless to say we both said we wanted to order the next plan and he has intended to. In fact we hope in the future to use your material to mentor other couples."

This book has been invaluable! My sons are 20 and 22, and my godson is 12. I purchased this book 6 months ago and have been amazed at how much it has transformed our conversations. I make sure to tell them how much I respect them via texts. Because it's not in person, it is not awkward and received well by them…This shows the different way that men communicate and receive love vs how women receive love and communicate. It is a different language. It will feel awkward, just like learning a foreign language. At times you will say it wrong or too often, but with practice, you will know the right way to use "respect" language and the exact words to use. It is worth the struggle. It will open your eyes and you will see exactly how much your son loves you by his actions. My sons now text me simple sentences just to let me know what is going on in their lives. I always thank them for sharing and leave it at that. Simple conversations=more conversations.

My husband has wanted for 10+ years for me to golf with him, but I have resisted because I am not good and unwilling to commit to the time required to change that fact. Thank you for the shoulder to shoulder suggestion. I am going to take up golf with the clubs my husband bought for me 10 years ago. You are a blessing!

They are humble teachers who teach from their mistakes and their trials with this message. I felt like it was really practical, kind of like they were coming alongside us. It felt real.

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"Thank you so much for the 15-day plan...I really was happy to have a review of the material and the ability to print it out and apply it over and over! I intend to keep reading it from time to time and I am sure the application will be ongoing in my marriage. What stood out to me in the 15-day plan:  awareness of the differences in our felt needs, the importance of the tone used in conversation, avoiding contempt, expressing positive regard for the person, and the significance of giving your spouse what they need but do not deserve."

My husband and I just attended your conference…, which we greatly enjoyed. Today is also our precious daughter [s]… birthday and I wanted you to know that she would not be here if not for God’s intervention in our lives through your Love and Respect book 9 years ago which saved our marriage.…I had filed for divorce and moved thousands of miles away to be near my family and started my dream job. I was not just one foot out the door, I was entirely out of the door after years and years of struggling . After 8 years of marriage, I was without hope and hated my husband. We had been to counseling…had even been to several Christian family conferences. However, some of the sin strongholds… had nearly put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. During that year, my husband deployed…, which was according to him, the darkest place on earth where hopelessness and temptation have a stronghold. He had other deployments and after each one he came back more distant and changed. However, this deployment was different. My husband met his best friend and brother in Christ and they began bible study in that dark place. My husband came across your book at the library there (a God thing of course) and began to pursue me relentlessly even from thousands of miles away. It took a long time for me to reach the point where I was at and it took a true miracle to soften my hardened heart. He started with apologies to me and others in our lives he had hurt. Then he began writing me love letters, telling my how amazing and irreplaceable I was. He kept telling me that he was not doing this to win me back, but he was doing this because of the commitment he made to God to be my husband, which had nothing to do with the way I treated him. He sent me flowers, drawings and gifts. For weeks I would not take his phone calls except so he could talk to our young son because I was so angry and afraid to love. I was cruel, and skeptical and he kept loving me unconditionally in spite of this. I will never be able to explain the transformation in my willingness to reconcile and see it as a miracle. One day I saw him as my enemy and the next, I was completely in love with him again and saw him as my warrior, hero, and resolute protector. When people ask me how we could reconcile, I tell them without hesitation that it was God and your book that saved our marriage. When he returned, we canceled the divorce proceedings and reconciled. Shortly thereafter we conceived our little girl. We now have a Godly marriage and are much stronger than ever. Thank you so much for writing this book and saving marriages. There is a special place in our hearts for military families and I pray that the Love and Respect message continues to make its way to bible studies and libraries in the darkest corners of the world.

"We have been married 14 years & never have we done anything together to serve the Lord's people. My friend basically stuck your DVD series in my face & said, “You've got to watch this!” My husband & I did. In fact, we still are for the 2nd time around. Just yesterday my husband said, "We are supposed to call couples so we can pray together." This is not the "norm" for my husband. To invite people into our home so we can talk & be transparent...Wow! We look forward to God using our miracle in marriage to help other marriages not fail but succeed God's way! Amen!"