Testimonials

I learned that this teaching didn’t feed his ego, but actually humbled him and caused him to want to connect and talk.

My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.

I hope it opened up eyes to the way that authority can truly speak into your life as a younger person and how to receive what that generation has to give us. Not only that, but the example of seeing a daughter listening to her father is beautiful. A lot of people have father issues or mother issues, but there are a lot of mentors or older people in the church who are looking to pour in, and I think the younger generation just needs to allow them. And not only allow them, but maybe encourage them when the older generation is shy or doesn’t think that they can.

I think one of the best things about The Illumination Project, and getting the information out in an easy way for our generation to digest, is the value of that conversation coming to us in a way that we’re used to.

"I have been implementing each day’s challenge and have been truly blessed. I’ve really become aware of how quickly our tone is sour when we are tired or frustrated and I’ve really been able to catch myself before responding disrespectfully. My husband is more outwardly verbal and irritable but I had no idea how much I show contempt or feel it in reacting to him. I feel so great practicing responding with kindness in areas I used to find myself huffing even on the inside. It’s very freeing to not be caught in that cycle. I’ve also been practicing being cheerful after coming home from work. We honestly have no clue how negative we are in a day until we start to study our own actions. Thank you so much. I definitely needed this refresher course in the Love and Respect. I had passed my book on to another couple years ago. I miss having my own copy. I’m so glad you made this available."

I have seen dramatic improvement in my relationship with my…son since I began implementing the principles in the book. I already had a good relationship with my son and picked up the book in anticipation of these next…years, but I hadn’t realized how much better it could be for both of us. My son and I both win in so many ways!…I keep the book on my nightstand and keep going through it so I don’t forget any of the information. This has been a lifestyle change for me with my son because it just works.

"I am one of five kids, and since I can remember my parents have constantly been fighting and bitter towards each other…It was finally to the breaking point…We no longer cared what happened, as long as the fighting and the yelling and the hatred and the bitterness stopped. I have spared you the details, but to kids growing up in a home like that, it was hell…About a year ago, after going to countless seminars, numerous marriage counselors, and who knows how many books, they discovered the Love & Respect series. To the rest of us it was just another stab in the dark and the seemingly obvious expectation of a divorce was still there. When my parents did a complete 180-degree turn around, it was very difficult not to be still in denial and hurt and expect it not to last too long. It was definitely something I would call, without any doubt, a miracle. Something that would have been impossible had it not been for God's grace and compassion. When they went from twenty-two years of hating each other, to holding hands, going out on dates and cuddling overnight, I could not believe it. They are now a very happy couple and plan on re-doing their wedding vows for their twenty-fifth anniversary. It saved our family (and) it saved our lives."

"One of God's miracles in all of this is (we) made a commitment to go for counseling and the person that gave us the counseling used all his teaching based on Love and Respect. First we had to re-read your book, then we went through your 5 DVDs on Love and Respect…with obedience, faith, patience and with (the) Love and Respect teaching God worked His plans His way...Yes we both have acknowledged that it takes two to tango and we were in all aspects of our lives on the crazy cycle. We are now committed to always work our way through life by putting God first and to stay off of the crazy cycle."

I just finished Mother & Son and have learned so much. I have three sons...and have been struggling communicating with my oldest. A friend at church had recommended your book and it couldn’t have come at the more perfect time. For me it was easy and I get it now! Practically every chapter I was shaking my head in agreement. I think about things before I say them and try to explain in the most respectful tone without raising my voice. The biggest win for me was the first time I tried Respect Talk with my oldest son. We had gotten into an argument over the weekend and it was bothering me. A few days later I went into his room before bed and had apologized for my actions and how we are a lot alike and he is growing into a respectful and honorable young man. He grinned and I said good night and walked out. I went back into bed and within 5 minutes he came into our room to give us a hug, kiss, say good night and that he loved us! I had the biggest smile on my face. For me, this is easy and I get it now. I didn’t understand the blue way of thinking and it is something I am working on every day now. Thank you!

We have two boys, and our oldest is almost eleven. I know that he feels a lot of pressure on him to be a good example to his three younger siblings. I tell him I love him all the time, but I had never considered telling him I respect him. This last Tuesday, I was cleaning his room, and I found a note he had written. It said, “Failure=Benjamin.” He is very hard on himself. . . . I was devastated. I knew something had to change, and that something was us, his parents. We need to show him that we respect him. Before he got home from school, I made twelve notes and taped them around his room and hid them in places such as drawers and under his pillow: I love you. I respect you. I respect your ideas. I am so proud of you. You are the most creative person I know. You are a great big brother. As soon as he got home and saw the obvious ones I had posted, he ran to me and gave me a hug! His eyes were sparkling, and he was so excited. He immediately took the notes and made a board that said “compliment board” and taped them all to it. I have written him letters in the past to tell him I love him and how much he means to me (he is very sentimental and has kept every note and letter). But telling him I respect him went over the top. I have made a vow to respect my son and treat him like I want his future spouse to treat him.

"Hi! I am a young mother and wife...our son just turned a year old a few weeks ago. I recently listened to your book Mother and Son. I am so thankful for the principles you’ve shared on respecting both my husband and son, and I am praying God transforms me and helps me meet their needs. I know I have a lot of progress to make, but I also already see how God has started to help me be more aware of my husband’s need for respect, and also prepare my mind to raise my son in a way that molds him into a man of honor and shows him I hold him in a high regard, no matter what mistakes he makes. I know that when I ask for wisdom, God gives it freely. I am so very thankful that I have been given such advice so early in our marriage and parenthood. I know there are many women who wish they would have known these truths earlier. Thank you for the wonderful work you are doing for the kingdom, and ultimately for our Lord Jesus."

Personally, God has laid on my heart to do what I can to attract every woman in our church to accept the invitation to attend Respectfully Yours. This includes ALL women. Every woman has a man or men in her life that she can positively influence and encourage so that God's intentions for them as men are sought and desired. Too often, we hear about the church being woman heavy in spearheading and the doing. That's our nature, I know. But, we must do what we can to change the trajectory we are on that has resulted from decades of emasculation. Mothers, wives, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, female employees and employers, must begin to better relate to the male spirit and vigor that they were originally intended to demonstrate.

So far, 80 women have "graduated" from Respectfully Yours. I currently am leading 17 more through the 8-week curriculum.