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Christian Life
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Does God See Our Tears and Does He Care? [Video]

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Marital troubles move us to tears of real grief. A  husband writes me as he faces the end of his marriage. "I sit here with tears streaming down my face during this extremely difficult time knowing there is nothing left for me to say or do at this point but wait and try to trust God in the midst of this nightmare.”

A wife emails about her marriage falling apart. "I've been quite emotionally distraught through this crisis. Yesterday, I had to work and fought back tears from 4pm until 11pm. When I finally got to my hotel room, I fell apart. I cried and cried. I prayed and prayed that God would help me find the strength to get through this and to accept what is happening.”

God’s Bottle and Book

Does God see our tears and does He care?

I love this verse, as does every believer: "You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?” (Psalm 56:8 NASB).

Notice God’s bottle and book.

In His bottle He catches your tears. He is close because He cares. He loves you and you are not alone.

In His book He records your tears. He will remember in order to reward.  A day is coming when you will hear from Him, “Well done!”

No tear is wasted. Every tear matters.

Crisis of Marriage or Crisis of Faith?

When marital troubles move us to tears of real grief what can we do?

Listen to this wife:

My husband revealed to me he had an affair. He was very repentant and wanted me to forgive him and make our marriage work. Dealing with the pain while trying to hold it together for my unborn child inside my womb was one of the most challenging things I’ve had to endure. For the first couple months I almost shut it out and dealt with it by crying and trying to just forgive and love hard. Then after my son was born I realized I had bottled it up for the sake of my pregnancy and didn’t really give it all to God. In the past 3 years I have truly learned what it’s like to die to self. To let your life become a sacrifice to God. To feel things you don’t want to feel…It took a lot of tears and sad days to finally realize that God had a much bigger plan. You really have to experience life in a sense that it’s not about YOU. When I did this I felt God’s love in amazing ways I’ve never felt before…

God is Moved by Our Tears

When we are moved to tears, we can believe God is also moved.

Every believer is called a “believer” because they believe in God, His love, and His plan. This wife commented that she realized that “God had a bigger plan.”

However, belief means we walk by faith not by sight.  By faith we believe God is moved by our tears. We do not literally see God, His bottle or His book. By faith we see the unseen bottle and book.

By faith will you see - through your tears - God’s unseen bottle and book that retain and record your tears?  

Will you believe that God loves you and is moved by your tears and that this is part of His plan?

Our Relationship with God Flourishes

As the relationship with our spouse flounders, our relationship with God can flourish.

Although God loves us and cares deeply about our tears, He does not promise to change our spouse. He might, but He might not. The marriage may flounder and even end. However, our relationship with God can still flourish.

Over the years, the emails I receive bless me beyond words. People make a discovery about God’s love. They testify like this wife, “I felt God’s love in amazing ways I’ve never felt before.”

May I ask you, will you go deeper with God or distance yourself from God?  Will you blame God for your marital troubles or turn to God in your marital troubles? Will you find in your relationship with God what you cannot find in your relationship with your spouse or will you have no meaningful relationship with either your spouse or God because you have closed off in bitterness?

I have a hunch that you are about to open yourself to the presence of God and feel God’s love in amazing ways you’ve never felt before.

We Change for the Better

Though our circumstances do not change for the better, we can change for the better through our circumstances.

No one wants to suffer. However, it is true that wisdom comes from suffering. Yes, knowledge comes from a classroom but wisdom comes from painful experiences.

The wife in the testimony above experienced the love of God after she surrendered to God. "In the past 3 years I have truly learned what it’s like to die to self. To let your life become a sacrifice to God. To feel things you don’t want to feel…”

Who wants to go through this kind of thing? Yet when she did, she experienced God’s love like never before.

The Believer Believes

Yes, your spouse ought to change. Yes, if your spouse changed, you’d be happier. Yes, it is unfair that you must suffer.

Yet, why would Jesus pray this way: “Not my will but Thy Will be done”?

Because in giving everything over to our Heavenly Father, we touch His heart as He sees our change of heart.

People who pray, “Not Your Will But My Will Be Done” will not experience the love and plan of God in the midst of their tears. Instead, they will have the tears without experiencing the love and plan of God.

Yes, if it were a perfect world you should experience no tears plus God’s love and plan. But we do not live in a perfect world. Therefore, the believer believes that God sees the tears and cares.

-Dr. E

Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
Author, Speaker, Pastor

Questions to Consider

  1. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much comfort do you derive from knowing about God’s bottle and book?
  2. What prevents you from opening yourself up more fully to the presence of God and surrendering your will to His?
  3. Have you given thanks to God even though you lack understanding of why things have happened? Why or why not?
  4. If you were inspired by this wife’s testimony, will you consider sharing your story with me?