Women Need Respect and Men Need Love
In Ephesians 5:33, God commands husbands to love and wives to respect. The Bible also instructs husbands to respect their wives (1 Peter 3:7) and wives to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). In my book Love and Respect, I dedicate two chapters to this wise instruction. On this Collection Page, we will address her need for respect and his need for love, which can be overlooked. Even when acknowledged, they may miss the mark by giving what they desire rather than what is needed.
What Does It Mean When a Blue Man Is Feeling Pink?
In my conferences on Love and Respect, I like to use the analogy that men and women are as different as pink is from blue. Women look at the world through pink sunglasses, hear through pink hearing aids, and speak through a pink megaphone; while men do it all with blue. Which basically means a man and a woman can hear the exact same sentence and interpret it in completely different ways, or even say the exact same thing but mean completely different things with their words.
Can How We Were Nurtured Actually Mask Over Our Deep Felt Needs?
In my book Love & Respect, I conclude that wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Alternatively, their husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. However, I am always quick to point out that, though these conclusions have been based on years of research, studies, and polls with thousands of subjects, we must still view them as on a bell curve—there is certainly room for women to lean less on love and more on respect than other women do, and for men to place more importance on love than they do on respect.
How A Wife Can Feel Loved But Disrespected
Years ago, the topic of Love and Respect and all it has led to stemmed from this one question to 7,000 people: When you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved at that moment or disrespected? In response, 83 percent of the men said they feel disrespected and 72 percent of the women said they feel unloved. However, I am always quick to point out two caveats regarding these statistics. One, we are always talking about a bell curve here. Certainly, every man and woman is different and do not necessarily respond to conflict in the exact same ways. Two, both men and women need love and respect equally.
When We Address a Man’s Needs, Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion? Part 2
In part 1 we talked about the tendency some women have to hijack a conversation about men needing respect and making it all about their needs as women. These women are not mean-spirited but they take over the conversation and completely ignore the male’s need. Some recent Facebook interactions I had provide a great example of this. Last week I posted three articles on Facebook. The first two challenged the husband (reaching together nearly 500,000 people). I titled them Should a Husband Submit to His Wife?, When a Husband Loves His Wife, Will She Respects Him?
When We Address a Man’s Needs, Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion? Part 1
If I say, “Men really like sports,” some women (a small but vocal percentage) retort, “I can’t believe you just said that! Women really like sports, and let me tell you why women like sports. In fact, you need to know about the sports women are playing, why affirmative action supports more women in sports, and why women would have been more interested in sports had this culture been fairer to women years earlier."In hearing these women express their thoughts, we quickly lose sight of the original statement, “Men really like sports."It is no longer about the man. It is about the woman.
Who Wrote the Famous Song R.E.S.P.E.C.T.? Aretha Franklin? [Video]
As for Aretha Franklin's song R.E.S.P.E.C.T., the truth is Otis Redding wrote that song and he released it in 1965, two years before Aretha adapted it to her female perspective of a confident feminist. Otis's version is of a desperate husband pleading with his wife for respect. He will give her anything she wants and doesn't care if she treats him wrong. Aretha changed it to "I ain't gonna do you wrong." Otis playfully said it is a song "that little girl done stole from me.”
Are Love and Respect the Same? [Video]
Respect is different than love. We respect our boss, but we do not feel love for our boss. We feel love for our teen son, but we do not always feel respect for him. Love and respect are not synonymous. A mom, for example, can internally feel disrespect for her son all the while feeling deep love for him, but of course she must guard against showing the disrespect she feels!
My Husband Wants Love and I Want Respect – Now What?
Q: You talk a lot about how a wife needs love and a husband needs respect. But what if we are an exception? My husband wants love &I desire respect. Emerson says: First of all, both spouses need love and respect equally. This is not up for debate. However, researchreveals that during conflict, the felt need of the majority of women is love while the felt need of the majority of men is respect.But cultural and personal applications can vary.