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In part 1, we shared 1 Peter 3:1–2 and Peter’s command to a wife to remain respectful to her disobedient husband. The first major reason to do this is because by doing so they will find favor in the eyes of God.
A woman wrote to me: "My husband has expressed that he does not love me and now is involved with another woman. I have read your book and have applied many things concerning this respect message.
“Respect is earned.” Have you heard that sentiment before? It’s a fairly popular thought in culture today, even bleeding into the church and our interpretations of passages like Ephesians 5:33: “However, each one of you [husbands] also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Men and women have differing sexual and emotional needs, which I have preached for forty years. But be assured, this does not mean that one does not have sexual needs and the other does not have emotional needs. Differing does not mean nonexistent.
Back before I began sharing across the world the Love and Respect message, based on Ephesians 5:33, we surveyed seven thousand people with the following question: "During a conflict with your spouse, do you feel unloved or disrespected?"
An adult child wrote me, saying about his parents, “Most remarkable has been the transformation in my parents' marriage. During your [Love and Respect] conference, a light bulb went off for both of them, and by the end of the conference, they were both crying together and asking each other’s forgiveness for years of misunderstanding.
Which is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of lead? Did you have to think about that one for a second? Don’t worry, you wouldn’t be alone if you did.
Have you ever asked yourself either of these questions? Have you ever wondered what God’s will was for you when it comes to marriage in general or marriage to a specific person—whether it’s getting married or staying married?
In Ephesians 5:33, husbands are commanded to love their wives, and wives are commanded to respect their husbands. One obvious question that I often receive concerning this is, “Why aren’t wives commanded to love their husbands?” The answer I always share is that God is not in the business of commanding us to do things that we naturally do on our own. Put simply, women love to love. And in a marriage between a goodwilled wife and a goodwilled husband, she doesn’t need a biblical command to love her husband unconditionally—she does it already!
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