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People who think culturally, not biblically oftentimes stumble over the idea of unconditional respect.
"My wife and I have been really struggling with our communication and our relationship; feels like we are two ships sailing in the night, which concerns me. I know I am responsible for what comes out of my mouth, which reveals what is in my heart. I have been trying to take responsibility for that and ask for forgiveness."
“Emerson, my husband is not as open and emotionally available as he should be. As a result, I don’t feel as close to him as I would like, and I even wonder if he trusts me.”
One of my favorite analogies to share in our Love and Respect Conferences is comparing men and women with pink and blue. There is an immediate ripple of recognition and agreement in the audience when I talk about how she sees through pink sunglasses and hears with pink hearing aids while his world is shaded in blue.
Whenever we talk about "chemistry" between a man and a woman, many of us envision an igniting of romantic passions that give birth to incredible emotional bonding. Not only are we attracted to each other physically, but as we share heart to heart, we are stunned with delight by how we feel, think, and act alike.
A woman wrote to me: "My husband has expressed that he does not love me and now is involved with another woman. I have read your book and have applied many things concerning this respect message.
“Respect is earned.” Have you heard that sentiment before? It’s a fairly popular thought in culture today, even bleeding into the church and our interpretations of passages like Ephesians 5:33: “However, each one of you [husbands] also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Men and women have differing sexual and emotional needs, which I have preached for forty years. But be assured, this does not mean that one does not have sexual needs and the other does not have emotional needs. Differing does not mean nonexistent.
Back before I began sharing across the world the Love and Respect message, based on Ephesians 5:33, we surveyed seven thousand people with the following question: "During a conflict with your spouse, do you feel unloved or disrespected?"
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