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In the beginning, after God had created Adam and placed him in the garden to cultivate it, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
In the Bible, we find two realities to which we are to respond: God’s commands and God’s promises. God calls us to obey His commands and trust His promises. Most of us have sung the song "Trust and Obey,” which captures these two quintessential truths.
There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.
Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?
Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.
Wives have asked me time and time again, “Why does my husband hate me?” I hurt for these women, then I ask them to tell me more.From the many stories I’ve heard over the years, I have discovered five possible answers to the question.
Q: Sometimes it seems like you are giving the other person an excuse for not being loving. You probably aren't, but why can't I expect my husband to be loving just out of unconditional love like God commands? How will it ever be unconditional if it is just a response to how I act?
Q: For years my wife told me I needed to get help for my anger, but I didn’t listen. I just got angrier. Finally she gave up and moved out, which opened my eyes. Since then I have gone to counseling and taken an anger management course and I have never felt better in my life. The problem is my wife won’t come home. How do I show her the changes I’ve made in myself when she won’t give me the chance? I have thanked her numerous times for opening my eyes and have begged her for a second chance, but she won’t respond. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
I received the following from a wife:Six years ago, I became a widow at age 36 with three young children. My husband and I were married very young; myself right out of high school and he was 3 years older than myself. I had many wounds from my own father's death when I was 11 years old, which left me in a very dysfunctional home.
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