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Browse through and read hundreds of articles on the topic of marriage
Husbands and wives will find themselves in conflict with each other—that is undeniable. In fact, because the apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:28 that those who marry “will have trouble in this life,” we can also conclude that some conflict within marriage is by God’s design.
When a husband and wife find themselves on yet another out-of-control Crazy Cycle—where feeling unloved, she reacts without respect; and feeling disrespected, he reacts without love—how do they decide who is going to be the first to stop reacting unlovingly or disrespectfully?
You’ve probably heard the phrase “happy wife, happy life” before. Maybe it’s in the context of something simple, like choosing what restaurant to eat at or not leaving dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.
The idea of unconditional respect for the husband has always been the Love and Respect message’s unique feature, based on Ephesians 5:33. Many books stress Paul’s instruction for husbands to love their wives (“each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself . . .”), but few spend equal space if any at all, to the rest of the verse (“. . . and the wife must respect her husband”).
Many wives share disappointment that their husbands rarely talk to them at a deeper level. “Emerson, when we were dating, we used to talk long into the night getting to really know each other. What happened to him?”
Q: You talk a lot about how a wife needs love and a husband needs respect. But what if we are an exception? My husband wants love &I desire respect. Emerson says: First of all, both spouses need love and respect equally. This is not up for debate. However, researchreveals that during conflict, the felt need of the majority of women is love while the felt need of the majority of men is respect.But cultural and personal applications can vary.
Ange & her husband were first introduced to the message of Love & Respect from our video series several years ago. They hosted their first Love & Respect Marriage Conference in 2010 and it was a hit! While promoting the conference that year Ange invited a lady named Kristen from her daughter's preschool to attend the conference. They didn't really know each other but Ange isn’t shy and casually mentioned it to her. Here’s Kristen’s story: I was living in a bad dream.
And I am not talking about television or the internet. If you are married and have children, remember your kids are watching YOU. Be aware there are more people in this marriage than just the two of you! At our live marriage conference, I often remind people that children grow up really quickly and then stand in our book signing line saying, “This is what was happening in our home and my parents need to hear this message.”
Permit me to ask you a question. As a husband, in your deepest heart do you want to come across in an unloving manner toward your wife during conflict? 1. I do not want to be unloving when I disagree with my wife. 2. I want to be unloving when I disagree with my wife. As a wife, in your deepest heart do you want to come across in a disrespectful manner toward your husband during conflict?
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