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Truth be told, the vast majority of disagreements that arise between husband and wife are what I call disagreements in the gray areas of life. Meaning there is not a clear, black-and-white answer to who is right and who is wrong.
Because a husband primarily sees through the lens of respect, he knows that he seeks to be respectful and honorable as a man. And, he knows that she falls short of being respectful, at least as respectful as he is as a man.
In part 2 we will discuss pink’s “proof” that she is right, and in part 3 we will break down blue’s so-called evidence.
Long ago I discovered a disheartening and detrimental pattern that drains a married couple of the positive vitality they experienced earlier in their relationship, and still long to experience now, when they do not apply a specific scripture to their marriage.
Finding win-win solutions in marriage means both partners feel satisfied with the outcome. This requires acknowledging and validating each other’s perspectives.
For many years I’ve shared the sentiment that “you can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.” This stemmed from a conversation I had with my wife, Sarah, one night as we were driving home from a small group meeting I was leading.
In my book Love & Respect, I wrote, "I sometimes get the question, ‘You say women need love and men need respect. Isn’t the opposite just as true? Don’t gals need respect and guys need love?’ My answer is, of course, women need respect and guys need love" (page 47).
A wife who wrote to me recognized that her husband’s suggestion to do something in a different way was rooted in his goodwill. As a result, she sought to apply a respectful demeanor in response to his suggestion, which motivated him to be more loving. Great news, right?
Some folks say, “I will love you as long as I feel love for you,” or “I will respect you as long as I feel respect for you, and I certainly won’t respect you if you have not earned it." But we need to step back for a moment.
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