Marriage

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

A couple attended the Love and Respect Marriage Conference recently, and several weeks later the wife wrote to me to share some of the reasons why they had attended, along with her frustrations for the lack of changes she had seen in him since the conference.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

I have spoken often about the need to understand and appreciate God’s pink and blue design of women and men, respectively, because our differences undoubtedly go well beyond the biological.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Do You Want a Better Wife?

Do You Want a Better Wife?

We are so grateful for this powerful testimony from Dr. Bill Enslow. Bill and Heather are the parents of 7 children and are deaconsin their church. They have shared the message of Love and Respect through small groups, retreats, and conferences in their church and community. What a blessing they are to us! Read about how God showed Bill that he needed to focus on himself more than on his wife, Heather.I was going to be a real spiritual husband.

Three Central Questions

Three major questions are addressed in the Love and Respect Message. One, why do we negatively react to each other? Two, how can we energize our spouse to respond more positively? And, three, what can we do when our spouse continues to be negative while we are trying to be loving and respectful? Will God help?

Three Central Questions

Do Men and Women Need Both Love and Respect Equally?

Do Men and Women Need Both Love and Respect Equally?

We all need love and respect. I preach this and I teach this. I am not dogmatic in suggesting that a husband does not need love. I am not dogmatic in suggesting that a wife does not need respect. However, because Ephesians 5:33 reveals that a husband must love his wife and a wife must respect her husband, we see a distinction that is full of significance. Maybe we can answer this way: though we all need love and respect equally, like we all need water and food equally, a wife has a felt need for love and a husband has a felt need for respect. Said another way, she feels hunger pains for her husband's love more often in the marriage and a husband feels more thirsty for his wife's respect.Why does this felt need surface?

Research Reveals that “Love And Respect” is the Key

Research Reveals that “Love And Respect” is the Key

The findings are in. Love and Respect is the key to a successful marriage! Research reveals that during marital conflict a husband most often reacts when feeling disrespected and a wife reacts when feeling unloved. We asked 7,000 people this question: When you are in conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected? 83% of the men said “disrespected.” 72% of the women said “unloved.”