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Browse through and read hundreds of articles on the topic of marriage
When a husband and wife find themselves on yet another out-of-control Crazy Cycle—where feeling unloved, she reacts without respect; and feeling disrespected, he reacts without love—how do they decide who is going to be the first to stop reacting unlovingly or disrespectfully?
You’ve probably heard the phrase “happy wife, happy life” before. Maybe it’s in the context of something simple, like choosing what restaurant to eat at or not leaving dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.
The idea of unconditional respect for the husband has always been the Love and Respect message’s unique feature, based on Ephesians 5:33. Many books stress Paul’s instruction for husbands to love their wives (“each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself . . .”), but few spend equal space if any at all, to the rest of the verse (“. . . and the wife must respect her husband”).
Many wives share disappointment that their husbands rarely talk to them at a deeper level. “Emerson, when we were dating, we used to talk long into the night getting to really know each other. What happened to him?”
In the beginning, after God had created Adam and placed him in the garden to cultivate it, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
Over the years, I have heard spouses complain, “I cannot do this love and respect thing.” They refer to God’s command in Ephesians 5:33. Husbands are to love and wives respect.My heart goes out to them. Sarah and I fall short as well.
Q: I have heard you refer to “good will” a lot. What does that really mean and how do I know if my spouse has good will or evil will toward me? Dr. E says: Good question! The line between good and evil will can certainly get blurred when couples are spinning on the Crazy Cycle!Let me try to unpack this in less than 1,000 words. Good intentions, poor delivery.
Have you ever tried to apply Love and Respect to your marriage and then wanted to throw in the towel? Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Let’s hear how one weary wife made the decision to not give up. At first, I radically changed. Something radically changed in me through applying.
In the military, smoke screening is a tactic to disguise one’s intentions and activities by spraying smoke. The smoke acts as a ploy to prevent others from knowing one’s real purpose and condition. But smoke screening can happen in relationships too. Perhaps nothing exposes our human imperfections as much as marriage. And when a spouse points out an imperfection in their mate, what might that person do?
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