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Browse through and read hundreds of articles on the topic of marriage
Many wives share disappointment that their husbands rarely talk to them at a deeper level. “Emerson, when we were dating, we used to talk long into the night getting to really know each other. What happened to him?”
In the beginning, after God had created Adam and placed him in the garden to cultivate it, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
In the Bible, we find two realities to which we are to respond: God’s commands and God’s promises. God calls us to obey His commands and trust His promises. Most of us have sung the song "Trust and Obey,” which captures these two quintessential truths.
There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.
Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?
These last several weeks I have been sharing with you the “if-then” principle that keeps the Energizing Cycle humming in your marriage. Today I want to share the final "if-then" principle:
An FBI agent confided in me that the amount of time he spent on his job was causing his wife to complain and question him even though he actually thought he was balancing things “pretty well.” He would get defensive and lash back at her, saying he was trying his best to do a good job and he didn't appreciate her questioning.
If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker, taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict, his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates. By the same token, if a wife chooses to respect her husband’s authority (desire to serve and to lead), he will be motivated to make peace with her and try to meet her needs and concerns during conflict at any level.
Several weeks ago, I started a series on being PROACTIVE, not REACTIVE. I emphasized the importance of not just stopping the Crazy Cycle of conflict in our marriages, but learning how to be proactive by getting on the Energizing Cycle.
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