Marriage

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

A couple attended the Love and Respect Marriage Conference recently, and several weeks later the wife wrote to me to share some of the reasons why they had attended, along with her frustrations for the lack of changes she had seen in him since the conference.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

I have spoken often about the need to understand and appreciate God’s pink and blue design of women and men, respectively, because our differences undoubtedly go well beyond the biological.

She Asks, "What About My Needs?"

She Asks, "What About My Needs?"

We’ve all thought that before, right? Many times, in fact. After all, we are a selfish people. It’s only natural for us to get caught up in thinking about what I need, and what you can do for me.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

She Asks, "What About My Needs?"

Why The Lies in Marriage?

Why The Lies in Marriage?

Please read the pain expressed by the spouses below. I give six examples of the hurt the innocent party feels when discovering their husband or wife lies to them: three examples from wives and three from husbands.

Which Comes First, Love or Respect?

Which Comes First, Love or Respect?

Every so often I hear someone make this kind of comment: "While I'm all for the love and respect message, God is a God of order and He commands in Ephesians 5:33 that husbands must their wives first, and then wives are to respect their husbands. The responsibility lies with the husband to love first." Why would someone make this argument? Though there are multiple reasons, most often they fear a wife will be mistreated. They believe a woman who puts on respect toward an unloving and disobedient husband could end up abused.

What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult? -- Part 2

What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult? -- Part 2

In part 1, we met Jenna, the six-year-old who pleaded to her mom and dad to remember how they were once friends and to find that friendship once again. Jenna communicated well in her video what we all knew fully well when we were six and watching our mom and dad live out their marriage: marriage is about being friends and being friendly. Here are three suggestions on being better friends with your goodwilled spouse who, like you, wants your marriage to succeed.1. Assume your spouse has goodwill but that their gender causes them to react in ways that do not feel like they have goodwill.

What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult?—Part 1

What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult?—Part 1

Have we forgotten what we knew about marriage at age six? We knew that a mommy and daddy ought to be friendly with each other because all mommies and daddies ought to be friends. We knew that it frightened us when mommy and daddy were unfriendly with each other. We knew that mommy and daddy obviously liked each other; otherwise they would not have married. We knew intuitively that when they married, and because they married, they were to love and honor each other, especially in front of us. No-Fault Divorce Means the Kids Won’t Be Hurt, Right?