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A husband has a need to be respected by his wife. That is what Paul teaches in Ephesians 5:33. As well, a wife has a need to be honored (respected) by her husband.
The love and respect connection is real—make no mistake. When I was reading Ephesians 5 one day in 1998, after having studied and taught from this chapter many times in my twenty years of preaching, God revealed this connection to me and it blew me away.
People who think culturally, not biblically oftentimes stumble over the idea of unconditional respect.
"My wife and I have been really struggling with our communication and our relationship; feels like we are two ships sailing in the night, which concerns me. I know I am responsible for what comes out of my mouth, which reveals what is in my heart. I have been trying to take responsibility for that and ask for forgiveness."
“Emerson, my husband is not as open and emotionally available as he should be. As a result, I don’t feel as close to him as I would like, and I even wonder if he trusts me.”
As we discussed in Part 1, the Bible says, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25). So how should you approach your spouse with the truth about something you believe they need to hear? Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy.
The Bible says in Ephesians 4:25, “Speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” Obviously, Paul intended the married to apply this, as well. A few verses later he talks to husbands and wives. He expected couples to heed his counsel. So what does it mean to speak the truth to a spouse?
One of the most popular analogies we use at our Love and Respect Marriage Conferences describes the differences between men and women in terms of pink and blue. Women look at the world through pink sunglasses, while men look at that same world through blue sunglasses.
In Ephesians 5:33, the husband is commanded to love his wife and the wife is commanded to respect her husband. But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? And what if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love?If you get no results from practicing the principles of Love and Respect, why bother?
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