Marriage

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

A couple attended the Love and Respect Marriage Conference recently, and several weeks later the wife wrote to me to share some of the reasons why they had attended, along with her frustrations for the lack of changes she had seen in him since the conference.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

I have spoken often about the need to understand and appreciate God’s pink and blue design of women and men, respectively, because our differences undoubtedly go well beyond the biological.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Is She Insane or in Pain?

Is She Insane or in Pain?

Some husbands watch the drama and emotional craziness in their wives and label their wives insane. But is his wife truly insane, an emotional and unpredictable whirlwind who has become a headache to live with, or could it be that the wife who loves him more than life itself is merely reacting out of pain to circumstances that cause her heart to yearn for the love and marriage that once was?

Do You Jump on the Crazy Cycle?

Do You Jump on the Crazy Cycle?

Many couples seem to spend most of their time on the Crazy Cycle, which is summed up like this: Without love she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love. Years ago as I reflected on God’s clear command (which is not a suggestion that we can take or leave) in Ephesians 5:33, I unearthed what I came to call the ‘Love and Respect Connection.’

Speaking With Love and Respect Works!

Speaking With Love and Respect Works!

Emerson writes, “Husbands tell us they have learned what can happen when they use loving words to communicate with wives, and wives tell us they have been astounded at the difference it makes when they use respectful words to communicate with their husbands.”

Who is the Mature One in Your Marriage?

Who is the Mature One in Your Marriage?

I often challenge couples by saying, “The mature one goes first.” It is much easier to sit back and say, “Well Emerson, I would be more loving if my wife was more respectful!” Or, “Why should I show my husband respect when he is treating me in an unloving way?” Of course it is easier to be obedient to God in our marriage when our husband or wife is also being obedient. Unfortunately, that is not always the case.