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Browse through and read hundreds of articles on the topic of marriage
Husbands and wives will find themselves in conflict with each other—that is undeniable. In fact, because the apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:28 that those who marry “will have trouble in this life,” we can also conclude that some conflict within marriage is by God’s design.
When a husband and wife find themselves on yet another out-of-control Crazy Cycle—where feeling unloved, she reacts without respect; and feeling disrespected, he reacts without love—how do they decide who is going to be the first to stop reacting unlovingly or disrespectfully?
You’ve probably heard the phrase “happy wife, happy life” before. Maybe it’s in the context of something simple, like choosing what restaurant to eat at or not leaving dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.
The idea of unconditional respect for the husband has always been the Love and Respect message’s unique feature, based on Ephesians 5:33. Many books stress Paul’s instruction for husbands to love their wives (“each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself . . .”), but few spend equal space if any at all, to the rest of the verse (“. . . and the wife must respect her husband”).
Many wives share disappointment that their husbands rarely talk to them at a deeper level. “Emerson, when we were dating, we used to talk long into the night getting to really know each other. What happened to him?”
Last week I asked the question, “What can husbands and wives do specifically to proactively stay energized in their marriage?” But before I get into the specifics of how to stay on the Energizing Cycle, I need to address two things that prevent most couples from moving from the negative (reactive) to the positive (proactive) in their relationship.
I hear from many couples who read Love & Respect and understand how to slow down and even stop the Crazy Cycle, but they struggle with how to keep it from starting up again. They try to react less negatively to each other, but it’s like turning down the settings on their flamethrowers
I hope you were challenged as I was by Lisa Shea’s testimony last week. Male or female, husband or wife…we are all faced with a critical daily decision: will we choose to obey God? This choice isn’t dependent on our circumstances.
As a child I remember my mother wanting only one thing from us on Mother's Day - that we would obey and try to get along with one another. She said that would mean more to her than any gift. I found myself through the years asking the same of my children. Recently our adult son David, not knowing what to give me, asked if that's still all I wanted. We laughed about that.
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