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Browse through and read hundreds of articles on the topic of marriage
Husbands and wives will find themselves in conflict with each other—that is undeniable. In fact, because the apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:28 that those who marry “will have trouble in this life,” we can also conclude that some conflict within marriage is by God’s design.
When a husband and wife find themselves on yet another out-of-control Crazy Cycle—where feeling unloved, she reacts without respect; and feeling disrespected, he reacts without love—how do they decide who is going to be the first to stop reacting unlovingly or disrespectfully?
You’ve probably heard the phrase “happy wife, happy life” before. Maybe it’s in the context of something simple, like choosing what restaurant to eat at or not leaving dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.
The idea of unconditional respect for the husband has always been the Love and Respect message’s unique feature, based on Ephesians 5:33. Many books stress Paul’s instruction for husbands to love their wives (“each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself . . .”), but few spend equal space if any at all, to the rest of the verse (“. . . and the wife must respect her husband”).
Many wives share disappointment that their husbands rarely talk to them at a deeper level. “Emerson, when we were dating, we used to talk long into the night getting to really know each other. What happened to him?”
In 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul wrote, “I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each has his own gift from God, one in this way, and another in that.”
Anyone who has visited the emergency room or urgent care with a mystery pain or illness knows how important it is to receive an accurate diagnosis from the doctor.
One person said about my book Love & Respect: This was one of my chief concerns with the book when I read it 10 years ago. Wives are portrayed as being actually disrespectful, while a husband is portrayed as simply being misunderstood. The problem was always ultimately the wife, either her own actions, or her perception.
For many years I’ve shared the sentiment that “you can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.” This stemmed from a conversation I had with my wife, Sarah, one night as we were driving home from a small group meeting I was leading.
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