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Browse through and read hundreds of articles on the topic of marriage
The idea of unconditional respect for the husband has always been the Love and Respect message’s unique feature, based on Ephesians 5:33. Many books stress Paul’s instruction for husbands to love their wives (“each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself . . .”), but few spend equal space if any at all, to the rest of the verse (“. . . and the wife must respect her husband”).
Many wives share disappointment that their husbands rarely talk to them at a deeper level. “Emerson, when we were dating, we used to talk long into the night getting to really know each other. What happened to him?”
In the beginning, after God had created Adam and placed him in the garden to cultivate it, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
In the Bible, we find two realities to which we are to respond: God’s commands and God’s promises. God calls us to obey His commands and trust His promises. Most of us have sung the song "Trust and Obey,” which captures these two quintessential truths.
There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.
In Ephesians 5:33, the husband is commanded to love his wife and the wife is commanded to respect her husband. But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? And what if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love?If you get no results from practicing the principles of Love and Respect, why bother?
The key to motivating another person is meeting that person’s deepest need. Since Ephesians 5:33 reveals that a wife needs love and a husband needs respect, then the key to motivating a wife is to meet her need for love, and the fundamental way to energize a husband is meet his need for respect.
Someone who only speaks German cannot communicate with someone who only speaks Spanish. Each needs to learn the other's vocabulary. Communication can only happen when there is mutual understanding. Communication is not the key to marriage. Mutual understanding is the key to a successful marriage.
A wife wrote to me saying, “My husband has disconnected from our marriage. We were on the Crazy Cycle for years, and it got really bad this year. He had an emotional affair and is now convinced that we can never be happy together, can both eventually find happiness elsewhere, and he wants a divorce.“I've been trying the CHAIRS principle for 3 months and have gotten very little response.
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