Marriage

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

A couple attended the Love and Respect Marriage Conference recently, and several weeks later the wife wrote to me to share some of the reasons why they had attended, along with her frustrations for the lack of changes she had seen in him since the conference.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

I have spoken often about the need to understand and appreciate God’s pink and blue design of women and men, respectively, because our differences undoubtedly go well beyond the biological.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

When You Can Be Right but Wrong with the Choice of Your Words

When You Can Be Right but Wrong with the Choice of Your Words

For many years I’ve shared the sentiment that “you can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.” This stemmed from a conversation I had with my wife, Sarah, one night as we were driving home from a small group meeting I was leading.

Do Wives Only Need Love and Husbands Only Need Respect?

Do Wives Only Need Love and Husbands Only Need Respect?

In my book Love & Respect, I wrote, "I sometimes get the question, ‘You say women need love and men need respect. Isn’t the opposite just as true? Don’t gals need respect and guys need love?’ My answer is, of course, women need respect and guys need love" (page 47).

Is He Making Innocent Suggestions or Unloving Criticisms?

Is He Making Innocent Suggestions or Unloving Criticisms?

A wife who wrote to me recognized that her husband’s suggestion to do something in a different way was rooted in his goodwill. As a result, she sought to apply a respectful demeanor in response to his suggestion, which motivated him to be more loving. Great news, right?

Love and Respect Is About More Than Feelings

Love and Respect Is About More Than Feelings

Some folks say, “I will love you as long as I feel love for you,” or “I will respect you as long as I feel respect for you, and I certainly won’t respect you if you have not earned it." But we need to step back for a moment.