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People who think culturally, not biblically oftentimes stumble over the idea of unconditional respect.
"My wife and I have been really struggling with our communication and our relationship; feels like we are two ships sailing in the night, which concerns me. I know I am responsible for what comes out of my mouth, which reveals what is in my heart. I have been trying to take responsibility for that and ask for forgiveness."
“Emerson, my husband is not as open and emotionally available as he should be. As a result, I don’t feel as close to him as I would like, and I even wonder if he trusts me.”
One of my favorite analogies to share in our Love and Respect Conferences is comparing men and women with pink and blue. There is an immediate ripple of recognition and agreement in the audience when I talk about how she sees through pink sunglasses and hears with pink hearing aids while his world is shaded in blue.
Whenever we talk about "chemistry" between a man and a woman, many of us envision an igniting of romantic passions that give birth to incredible emotional bonding. Not only are we attracted to each other physically, but as we share heart to heart, we are stunned with delight by how we feel, think, and act alike.
Some folks say, “I will love you as long as I feel love for you,” or “I will respect you as long as I feel respect for you, and I certainly won’t respect you if you have not earned it." But we need to step back for a moment.
Two women in the Bible represent the desire to find a man who is a self-reliant provider. We read in Ruth 3:1: “One day Ruth's mother-in-law Naomi said to her, 'My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for.'” Although this narrative is centuries old and reflects traditional views of men as providers and women as those provided for, do such sentiments still exist today?
Guys, now it’s your turn! Every wife I have met (given she is in love with her husband) would agree that she feels most energized in her marriage when her husband seeks to be close with her, open with her, understanding of her, peacemaking with her, loyal to her, and esteeming of her.
Have you ever met a wife who complains that her husband talks too much? That he seems to always want to share what’s on his heart and talk face-to-face with her in the evening, even when the game is on?
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