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No two people will agree with each other all the time. Conflict doesn’t mean the marriage is in trouble, and disagreement doesn’t mean you married the wrong person.
You’ve likely heard me talk about “when the issue is no longer the issue.” What begins as a normal difference of opinion can quickly leave both spouses feeling unloved and completely disrespected.
Courtship and the first few months of marriage is a unique time in a couple’s relationship. We are usually focused on our partner’s strengths and rarely aware of the weaknesses or quirks that all of us have.
In Galatians 5:14, Paul wrote, “For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”
As a young boy, around the age of twelve, when I learned of Darwin’s theory of evolution, something in me said, “Something is wrong here.”
It’s been said that expectations often lead to disappointment. I tend to agree. In fact, when it comes to behavior in marriage, I would say this: When you do the right thing, expect two things: negative reactions or quiet unresponsiveness.
Occasionally someone will say to me, “Emerson, I’m contemplating your theory of love and respect…and I think you may be on to something.” I smile at this but I also clarify that this isn’t “my theory”…this is a command from the all-wise God in Ephesians 5:33, and this is why it is a message that resonates around the world. It’s not a message exclusive to Americans, or a certain age group, or ethnic group. The Love & Respect message is for men and women everywhere.
We’ve been talking about wedding anniversaries and romantic expectations… and how to get free from the blame game. Here’s a story from a wise wife who made a powerful discovery about her wedding anniversary:
Men, you may not be as romantic as your wife (you sleep during the movie Sleepless in Seattle), but you are a man of honor, and a man of honor discerns the desires in the heart of his wife. Let me recommend two things that feed the romance for her: she needs predictable face to face time with you and she wants periodic surprises.
Romance. Women generally want more of it…and men feel pressured to deliver. Why does it remain so elusive? Last week I shared how our different expectations as men and women can really mess up a romantic anniversary celebration. But this whole romance thing can get complicated for other reasons as well.
Celebrating a wedding anniversary seems to be an area that magnifies the pink and blue differences between husbands and wives. We recently received the following question from a wife, which pretty much sums it up:
There’s a song by the Beatles with the theme, “Money can’t buy me love…” I think most of us would agree with that. Celebrities with plenty of money and fame move from one relationship to the next searching for love, while others with very little money have remained married and in love for 50 years!
Today we are honored to feature a video testimonial by Derwin and Vicki Gray. Derwin is a former NFL player as well as a dynamic speaker and author. He is also the Founding and Lead Pastor of Transformation Church, a dynamic multi-ethnic, multi-generational, mission-shaped church.
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