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When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?

When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?

Husbands and wives are going to disagree . . . many times. They’re going to have arguments . . . many times. On top of that, husbands will disappoint wives, and wives will disappoint husbands, bringing reason for the offended or hurt spouse to broach a possibly sensitive or tough topic.

“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits

“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits

There is an axiom that I have used in my teachings for as long as I can remember that, to this day, I still fully believe in its simple but life-changing truth: “My response is my responsibility.”

According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...

According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...

When I was on staff at a church in the 1970s, we sought to serve widows and orphans. Though they were not all widows, we decided to lean into assisting single parents specifically.

Christian Life

When Frustrated, How Do You Come Across to Your Husband? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself

When Frustrated, How Do You Come Across to Your Husband? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself

Wives are driven to connect, to be understood, and to receive empathy, which is a wonderful characteristic of God’s beautiful pink design of them.

When Disappointed in Our Spouse, Do We Address Their Conduct or Attack Their Character?

“My Response Is My Responsibility”—7 Fears and 7 Benefits

According To Jesus, All We Need To Be Content Is Food, Covering, And One More Thing...

Christian Life

When Frustrated, How Do You Come Across to Your Husband? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself

Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 3 - Mutual Does Not Mean the Same

Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 3 - Mutual Does Not Mean the Same

In parts 1 and 2, we discussed a key difference in men and women’s approaches toward sex. Though both desire and need sex, we need to understand a wife’s interpretation of sex through the love lens and the husband’s interpretation of sex through the respect grid. I take this position because God commands the husband to love his wife in Ephesians 5:33 (C.O.U.P.L.E.) and commands a wife to respect her husband in that same verse (C.H.A.I.R.S.). (Please read parts 1 and 2 of this 3-part blog series for a more complete explanation of C.O.U.P.L.E. and C.H.A.I.R.S.) Every married couple that is concerned about their sexual intimacy needs to answer the following with honesty and accuracy.

Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 2 - Is It Just About Sex for the Man?

Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 2 - Is It Just About Sex for the Man?

In part 1 of this series, we discussed how even Hollywood unwittingly supports God’s design for unconditional love being absolutely vital to a woman in order for her to truly enjoy sex with a man long-term. Because in the end, for her the perennial question will always be, “Do you love me for me—unconditionally?” And when he assures her of his unconditional love toward her by acting out C.O.U.P.L.E.—the six biblical ways God’s Word reveals that a man should love his wife—he will be hitting on all cylinders the premiere aphrodisiac for his wife.

Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 1 - Even Hollywood Gets It About Women

Key Truths about a Husband and Wife Needing and Desiring Sex - Part 1 - Even Hollywood Gets It About Women

In my opinion, anyone who watches movies gets the message that men and women have sexual needs and desires but that they are not the same. In the movie For the Love of the Game, Billy Chapel (played by Kevin Costner) and Jane Aubrey (Kelly Preston) meet and hook up sexually. Because Billy travels as a professional baseball pitcher with the Detroit Tigers, they make a deal. Jane says, "So, when you're away, I'll live my life and you'll live yours. And none of this 'why didn't you call me?' crap. And what you do when you're not with me has nothing to do with me, and vice versa. No questions asked, no worrying, no obsessing."

She Wants Him to Lead, So Why Doesn’t He?

She Wants Him to Lead, So Why Doesn’t He?

Even though men and women are equal in the eyes of God, Scripture is clear that God has charged men with being the family’s spiritual leader (1 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Peter 3:1; Ephesians 5:22). I have found among most wives who follow Christ that not only do they not resist this biblical mandate but they actually hold a deep desire for their husbands to be the spiritual leader.

It’s All About Jesus

If you have attended or heard a Love and Respect Marriage Conference or read any of the books, more than likely you will recall some of my favorite terms, analogies, and acronyms, such as: Pink and Blue, C.O.U.P.L.E., C.H.A.I.R.S., the Crazy Cycle, the Energizing Cycle, and the Rewarded Cycle. While it certainly always brings a smile to my face to hear from readers and others that they, even many years later, still talk about “needing to get off the Crazy Cycle” or “their pink hearing aids didn’t hear what their blue husband was really saying,” what I most hope that people will remember is how all of this should be used to point them to Jesus. Let me explain.

It’s All About Jesus

Which Statements Will We Believe?

Which Statements Will We Believe?

Walk into any football stadium or sports bar on game day and you will find a sea of fans decked out in matching gear excited to cheer on their team that they have loved since birth. As long as their team is getting the first downs and touchdowns, these fans are ecstatic in their show of support. But when things don’t go so well with their team... well, from the sound of their groans and the choice words coming from their mouths describing their so-called favorite teams, you may have a hard time believing that they love their team like they do. But in fact, no matter how bad it may get this week, they’ll be right back next week cheering them on again.

Have You Learned Yet What a “Sacrifice of Thanksgiving” Is?

Have You Learned Yet What a “Sacrifice of Thanksgiving” Is?

In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, the apostle Paul reminded the church in Thessalonica, “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (5:18). This is one of four times in which Scripture clearly tells us what the will of God is. I call these the four universal wills of God, and I have written about them extensively in my book, The Four Wills of God, and how our following these four universal wills of God can lead to learning His unique will for us in our individual lives.

Christian Life

You Want Your Husband to Hear Your Heart—The Answer May Be to First H.E.A.R. Him

You Want Your Husband to Hear Your Heart—The Answer May Be to First H.E.A.R. Him

A wife longs for her husband to hear her heart. She becomes insecure when he does not. What can she do? Given your husband has goodwill and wants to do God's will, I suggest looking in four areas and trying to “H.E.A.R.” your husband. H:Honor his desire to honor God. If there is any positive thing you see in his walk with God, say, "I want to honor your desire to honor God. I have noticed how you _____." Fill in the blank. While most likely there are things you wish he did in his walk with God that he isn't currently doing, don't go there. This exercise is about addressing the positive—how you see your husband honoring God—because it is true, honorable, and right.