The Crazy Cycle
Conflict in marriage can escalate into hurtful cycles called The Crazy Cycle. On this Collection Page, explore its origins and effects. Surprisingly, 83% of men feel disrespected and 72% of women feel unloved during conflict, aligning with Ephesians 5:33. When a wife feels unloved, she may react disrespectfully, and when a husband feels disrespected, he may respond unlovingly. But there is hope. Through personal stories and practical strategies, learn to jump off the Crazy Cycle, improve communication, and experience the love and respect God intends.
Your Spouse Can Disagree with You without It Becoming a Love and Respect Issue
Have you and your spouse given each other the freedom to disagree without everything escalating to a love and respect issue? A wife wants the freedom to disagree with her husband without him feeling she is being disrespectful to him. Many times a wife wishes to give her opinion on what he is proposing, but he interprets her mere questioning as discourteous. She desires the freedom to give her input on his ideas, but will he give her that right? Or will he say something like, "There you go again, disrespecting my ideas"?
Don’t Let the Conflict Reach 212 Degrees!!
The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry, and yet do not sin." This means we can be angry but there is a line we must not cross. Anger is okay up to a point, but we must then stop. And this scripture tells us that we can stop.
Husband says: “I Finally Get It!” - Conflict In Marriage
My parents divorced when I was one. They later remarried each other, but then separated again when I was five. A few years later they reunited for good, but even then it was far from a fairy-tale marriage. My childhood years were filled with memories of yelling and unsettling tension. I saw and heard things that are permanently etched in my soul, and I would cry myself to sleep at times.
Crazy Cycle Brief Survey and Meditation
Based on Ephesians 5:33 where God commands a husband to love and a wife respect, we discovered the Crazy Cycle: During conflict, without love a wife reacts without respect and without respect a husband reacts without love. Given this reflects your experience, please meditate and reflect on the below questions and brief answers to self-assess how you are doing during conflict. You may also submit your answers below each question.
What Is Your Secret to Avoiding the Criticism-and-Withdrawal Pattern That Starts Up So Many Crazy Cycles?
Between all husbands and wives there is a dynamic called "criticism-and-withdrawal.” For example, a wife criticizes her husband for being late again for dinner. He withdraws by going quiet and feeling miffed by what he feels is an unfair criticism since his boss demanded he stay late again.
Will You Make This Pledge Every Time Your Spouse Pinches Your Air Hose?
Leaders from different countries, such as the United States and France, have disagreements at times and do things that feel uncaring and dishonoring to each other.
Why Is Our Initial Reaction to Our Spouse Hurting Us Usually Defensive?
Why do we defensively react to our spouse in times when we do not feel very loved or respected by them? Because if we’re honest with ourselves, we know that we all do so at times. Think about some of those moments. Our spouse is upset with us for forgetting to pick up a package at the post office.
Why does the Crazy Cycle Happen? Speculation versus Facts
Why does the Crazy Cycle happen? Oftentimes, it is because either one or both marriage partners are letting speculation drive their responses instead of facts. I recall a commercial wherein a wife is informed that her husband is flirting with a woman at the jewelry store. The scene moves forward with the wife coming down the street toward the jewelry store with a rolling pin in hand and a growing crowd marching behind to watch her catch him red-handed. As she enters the store, she observes her smiling husband purchasing a diamond for her. The other female is the clerk behind the counter. This husband was innocent, but the warring wife did not have the facts. Sketchy or misconstrued information is dangerous.
8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle
Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 8 ways to prevent and get off the Crazy Cycle (see Episode 1 for a deeper explanation of the Crazy Cycle. Examples include what to do when you see the spirit of your spouse deflate, accepting some trouble as normal, and trusting in each other's goodwill.
What is the Issue When the Issue Isn’t the Issue?
Drawing upon principles of the Crazy Cycle Emerson responds separately to a wife and to a husband about two different issues. He helps them understand that they need to approach their spouse with love and respect, which is an issue, while still addressing the topic at hand. This episode will help listeners discern what really is the issue when an issue is being discussed.
Is Your Wife Really Trying To Be Negative and Disrespectful?
A husband wrote, “My wife and I have been married for almost two years. . . . Our disagreements are centered on her emotional outbursts and my lack of emotion. . . . I do love the emotion my wife has and I know God has us together to love and respect each other as we seek to glorify him, but I struggle when my wife justifies some behavior as her uncontrollable emotional reaction. I am not looking for something to condemn her with, instead I would like your viewpoint on how one best handles this type of ongoing disagreement.” Emerson responds in this week's episode.
9 Ways To Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud
Over time, two people can hurt, frustrate, confuse, and anger the other. She feels that her differing opinion and convictions do not matter to him as much as his own ideas matter. Or, he feels that his differing outlook and beliefs have little importance to her compared to how she feels about her views. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss how individuals begin to feel that their ideas do not matter and that they do not matter on the heels of another disagreement, but how they must guard against the 9 Ways to Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud.