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The Crazy Cycle is Obvious, So Why Doesn't My Spouse See What They Are Doing?

Emerson emphasizes how we often notice what our spouse does to us before recognizing our own actions contributing to relationship conflicts. He explains the concept of the "Crazy Cycle," where a lack of love triggers a lack of respect and vice versa, based on Ephesians 5.33. The key insight is that when we're caught in this cycle, it becomes challenging to see how our own negative reactions fuel the problem. Emerson encourages both to understand that neither is entirely guiltless and to validate each other's perspectives rather than assign blame. The central message: We tend to see how our spouse triggers us but often miss our own contributions to the cycle.

Questions to Consider

  1. Have you ever experienced the "Crazy Cycle" in your relationship? How did it affect your perception of each other's actions?
  2. Why is it often easier to recognize how our spouse's actions affect us rather than acknowledging our own negative reactions?
  3. How might validating your partner's perspective, even when you believe you could be wrong, improve communication in your relationship?