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Marriage
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Why Does My Wife Hear Something I’m Not Saying?
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He thought he was loving her by working hard and staying faithful—but she only heard silence and rejection. One husband’s 18-year marriage was saved when he finally asked, “What are you actually hearing when I say (or don’t say) that?” Discover the simple questions and steps that stop the Crazy Cycle and turn hurt reactions into real connection—for any couple stuck in misunderstanding.
Questions to Consider
- When was the last time you honestly asked your spouse, “When I do/say ____, what do you actually hear and feel?”—and then just listened without defending?
- What unspoken message have you been sending for years (silence, tone, withdrawal, loudness) that your spouse has been hearing completely differently than you intended?
- If you and your spouse named your current pattern out loud right now, would you both agree you’re on the Crazy Cycle—and are you willing to be the first one to step off it?
- How different would your home feel in six months if every argument ended with one of you saying, “Can I just pray for us right now?”—will you try it this week?
