Marriage Articles

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

Are You Humbly Voicing a Need or Formalizing a Complaint?

Are You Humbly Voicing a Need or Formalizing a Complaint?

In the beginning, after God had created Adam and placed him in the garden to cultivate it, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).

What Does Love and Respect Enable a Wife and Husband to Do?

What Does Love and Respect Enable a Wife and Husband to Do?

In the Bible, we find two realities to which we are to respond: God’s commands and God’s promises. God calls us to obey His commands and trust His promises. Most of us have sung the song "Trust and Obey,” which captures these two quintessential truths.

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

On Valentine’s Day: The Disappointed and Sad Person

On Valentine’s Day: The Disappointed and Sad Person

Valentine’s Day is a favorite holiday of many, providing wonderful opportunities for couples to express their undying love and commitment to each other through either big or small ways, which oftentimes include chocolates and roses.Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day can also be a day when those same love birds can become more selfish toward each other than they are any other time of the year. Allow me to explain. 1. The Selfish Husband With Ulterior Motives On Valentine’s Day…

Your Marriage Isn’t Complex to Figure Out. Let Me Tell You Why

Your Marriage Isn’t Complex to Figure Out. Let Me Tell You Why

Sarah and I have done Love and Respect Marriage Conferences since 1999. At these conferences we teach that love and respect are the two basic ingredients for a successful marriage. I wrote the book Love and Respect to explain the power and simplicity of this truth.However, we teach that wives lean toward the love side of the equation and husbands lean toward the respect side. This is based on Ephesians 5:33, which says, “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

1998 February 4th: One of My First Email Exchanges With a Wife About Respect

1998 February 4th: One of My First Email Exchanges With a Wife About Respect

Sarah, my wife, had started a MOPS group at our church. This refers to Mothers of PreSchoolers! The leadership invited me to speak two times to the group about what I had announced at the church were some discoveries I had made about marriage. In 1998 my discovery revolved around wives respecting their husbands. With most that flew like a lead balloon. I had no ideas about the land-mines I would step on. For instance, I did not finish in two sessions so offered to return for a third session.

What Evil Looks Like

A husband writes, “I am sure, like most authors and conference promoters, you are going to present your success stories and downplay (if you present them at all) the failures. However, I would like to hear from some who have tried and failed at your approach. Maybe we can learn as much from them as the successes. What I feel concerns me the most so far is reading the repeated (and oft repeated) assumption that "your spouse is a person of basic good will".

What Evil Looks Like