Marriage

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

You Know What You’re Saying, but What Are You Communicating?

There are certain phrases we have been programmed to understand in a specific way whenever we hear them. For example, if someone says to us, “We need to talk,” we know there is bad news to come and we get in defensive mode.

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

A couple attended the Love and Respect Marriage Conference recently, and several weeks later the wife wrote to me to share some of the reasons why they had attended, along with her frustrations for the lack of changes she had seen in him since the conference.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

I have spoken often about the need to understand and appreciate God’s pink and blue design of women and men, respectively, because our differences undoubtedly go well beyond the biological.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

What If My Spouse Doesn't Respond To My Efforts?

What If My Spouse Doesn't Respond To My Efforts?

In Ephesians 5:33, the husband is commanded to love his wife and the wife is commanded to respect her husband. But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? And what if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love?If you get no results from practicing the principles of Love and Respect, why bother?

Your God-Given Power To Influence Your Marriage

Your God-Given Power To Influence Your Marriage

The key to motivating another person is meeting that person’s deepest need. Since Ephesians 5:33 reveals that a wife needs love and a husband needs respect, then the key to motivating a wife is to meet her need for love, and the fundamental way to energize a husband is meet his need for respect.

Why Communication Is NOT the Key to Your Marriage

Why Communication Is NOT the Key to Your Marriage

Someone who only speaks German cannot communicate with someone who only speaks Spanish. Each needs to learn the other's vocabulary. Communication can only happen when there is mutual understanding. Communication is not the key to marriage. Mutual understanding is the key to a successful marriage.

Respect Won Her Husband Back: A Wife’s Testimony

Respect Won Her Husband Back: A Wife’s Testimony

A wife wrote to me saying, “My husband has disconnected from our marriage. We were on the Crazy Cycle for years, and it got really bad this year. He had an emotional affair and is now convinced that we can never be happy together, can both eventually find happiness elsewhere, and he wants a divorce.“I've been trying the CHAIRS principle for 3 months and have gotten very little response.