Marriage

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

In What Areas Is He Feeling Disrespected? Diagnosing Your Deflated Husband

Is your normally happy-go-lucky husband suddenly more sulky and moody? Has your typically fully engaged and intimate husband for some mysterious reason become more distant and even physically absent?

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

We Cannot Insist Our Spouse Have the Same Felt Needs We Do

Do you have a specific sports team that you are outright fanatic about? Suppose you are a passionate Yankees fan whose white bedroom walls have navy blue pinstripes on them and your living room coasters have pictures of Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, Derek Jeter, and other Yankees greats on them.

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

Is Your Husband Trying to Make You Feel More Secure, but in Ways You’re Not Recognizing?

A couple attended the Love and Respect Marriage Conference recently, and several weeks later the wife wrote to me to share some of the reasons why they had attended, along with her frustrations for the lack of changes she had seen in him since the conference.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

I have spoken often about the need to understand and appreciate God’s pink and blue design of women and men, respectively, because our differences undoubtedly go well beyond the biological.

She Asks, "What About My Needs?"

She Asks, "What About My Needs?"

We’ve all thought that before, right? Many times, in fact. After all, we are a selfish people. It’s only natural for us to get caught up in thinking about what I need, and what you can do for me.

Our Pink and Blue Designs Even Have Us Solving Problems Differently!

She Asks, "What About My Needs?"

She Applies Respect to Her Fiancé After Reading Love and Respect

She Applies Respect to Her Fiancé After Reading Love and Respect

I always love hearing from others after they have begun putting into practice the principles of love and respect. It is especially encouraging when I hear from young couples who decided to be proactive about implementing love and respect, rather than waiting to see if the need arises for marital help. Love and respect, as explained to us in Ephesians 5:33, is not just about conflict resolution; it is the foundation for a successful God-honoring marriage, intended to be practiced from day one, just as this young lady learned:

A Wife Respects and then Receives the Love She Desires

A Wife Respects and then Receives the Love She Desires

Women want to be loved by their husbands. Adored. Desired. Cherished. That should not be a surprise to anyone. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who would dispute a woman’s desire for love. But sadly, just because a woman desires love more than anything else from her husband, and even though he may say that he absolutely adores her with all his heart, that does not mean she always feels loved by him. And not feeling loved by the one she needs to feel loved by the most can cause a significant gap between her and her husband.

Is It a Stereotype or a Pink and Blue Difference That God Gave Your Spouse?

Is It a Stereotype or a Pink and Blue Difference That God Gave Your Spouse?

Some folks resist anything that seems to reinforce a stereotype. Their initial response to stereotypes is usually to defend individualism and claim that such generalities do not define or explain their situations.How do you feel about stereotypes when it comes to explaining differences between you and your spouse? What if I said that many women see life through pink sunglasses and many men see life through blue sunglasses and these views color what each sees, especially in conflict? Similarly, she wears pink hearing aids and he wears blue hearing aids and each “hears” something different during heated moments in marriage.

What Came First—the Chicken or the Egg?

What Came First—the Chicken or the Egg?

In marriage one spouse tends to assign blame to the other for starting the marital troubles. For example, in courtship the husband was very talkative but after marriage he talked less, even withdrawing and stonewalling during conflict. From the wife’s perspective, this was a bait-and-switch trick. He tricked her into thinking he was a communicative person but after marriage refused to meet her motional need to connect via sharing hearts and feelings.