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Why She Shares, and What He Hears

Why She Shares, and What He Hears

When a wife dares to share her hurt and negative feelings with her husband, she does so hoping he will humbly apologize and make efforts to do things more lovingly next time. Her goal in addressing her concerns is to get rid of her hurt, be energized, feel positive, and respond to him in caring ways.

3 Steps to Reigniting Your Husband’s Love for You

3 Steps to Reigniting Your Husband’s Love for You

A wife who has been married for twenty years to a loving, goodwilled husband and father (her words!) found herself suddenly struggling to understand how their relationship had gone south.

A Kernel of Truth Does Not Justify the Unloving Gut-Punch

A Kernel of Truth Does Not Justify the Unloving Gut-Punch

In my book Speak Your Mind, I offer a four-point checklist that everything we communicate should be. Whether we’re talking to our spouse, our children, our boss, or the bank teller, we should ask ourselves, “Is that which I’m about to communicate: 1) true? 2) kind? 3) necessary, and 4) clear?

Christian Life

When the Mockingbird Finally Hears His Song

When the Mockingbird Finally Hears His Song

In a national study done years ago, four hundred men were asked to choose between one of two negative experiences: If you were forced to choose one of the following, which would you prefer to endure?

Why Do I Rebel Against the Rules of Femininity or Masculinity?

Why Do I Rebel Against the Rules of Femininity or Masculinity?

I can't stand rules like being told to be kind, loving, and respectful. I'll be anyway I wish to be! Some rules are more like realities. They are the fixed facts of life that govern the essentials of living. They are immutable. Rebel against them and look like the village idiot. For example, we can rebel against the command of nature to eat, drink, and breathe, but why? Worse than looking like an idiot, we’d simply die. When rules reflect reality, why rebel against them?

You Are Not Predestined to Argue the Same Way Your Parents Did

You Are Not Predestined to Argue the Same Way Your Parents Did

A teenage boy was feeling sorry for himself, feeling as though his mother didn't love him. He said to her, "If you don't love me, why'd you have me?" The mother shot back, "Well, we didn't know it was going to be you." All of us came into this world by way of two parents. There are no exceptions to this. Regardless, there are no perfect parents. In fact, there was once a convention held for adult children of normal parents. No one attended. Because we have imperfect parents, not only do we have to deal with their issues but we also inherit many of them.

Christian Life

Why We Should Confess Our Unloving and Disrespectful Comments

Why We Should Confess Our Unloving and Disrespectful Comments

If the roles were reversed, we'd expect another to confess to us. If another was mean to us, blamed us for their unkind reactions, made light of their unkindnesses since they meant no harm, and justified or denied their personal unresolved issues contributing to their hostilities and contempt toward us, we'd be up in arms. We'd be saying, "Wow, can't you at least humbly apologize for your part?"We need to apply the same medicine to ourselves that we recommend to others.

Christian Life

What To Do When Your Husband Is Having an Affair - Part 2

What To Do When Your Husband Is Having an Affair - Part 2

In part 1, we shared 1 Peter 3:1–2 and Peter’s command to a wife to remain respectful to her disobedient husband. The first major reason to do this is because by doing so they will find favor in the eyes of God. But there is a second major reason to put on unconditional respect. In doing so, a wife imitates Jesus Christ.As a wife stops her disrespectful behavior and starts respectful behavior, she is following the example of Jesus who entrusted Himself to God who judges the wrongdoing of others.

What To Do When Your Husband Is Having an Affair - Part 1

What To Do When Your Husband Is Having an Affair - Part 1

A woman wrote to me: "My husband has expressed that he does not love me and now is involved with another woman. I have read your book and have applied many things concerning this respect message. For instance, my husband even saved the ‘respect’ letters that I wrote to him. Any suggestions on how long I keep saying this or what else I can do to help him realize that our marriage is worth saving? Right now with him it seems to be hot one day and cold the next. Please help."

How to Impact Others' Marriage

How to Impact Others' Marriage

My name is Matt Loehr, founder of Dare to be Different and now director of marriage mentoring at Love and Respect. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and I partnered a couple years ago and together we have trained over seven thousand mentors all over the world. When speaking at a church recently, I asked the congregation to raise their hands if they knew of someone wanting out of their marriage. A flood of emotion filled the room as thousands raised their hands in the air.

How to be Truthful Without Being Hurtful

How to be Truthful Without Being Hurtful

Some questions from one spouse to another are nearly impossible to answer without causing heartache. For example, what is a husband to say when his wife asks, "Does this red dress make me look fat?" A good-hearted husband longs to be truthful without being hurtful, but that isn't an easy rope to walk on. Most men feel totally trapped by this question, because they have learned, perhaps the hard way, that saying nothing or saying "I don't know" actually means "you look fat."

What Overwhelms a Wife and Husband?

What Overwhelms a Wife and Husband?

All of us can feel overwhelmed at times by the challenges we face in marriage. The Husband: On the one hand, a husband can feel overwhelmed by his wife’s complaints and criticisms toward him.He feels he is never good enough. He can feel he does not deserve all of her negativity. Frankly, her negativity is beyond his understanding.