Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.