Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Your words reveal your heart.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.