Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

We are equal but we are not the same.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.