Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.