Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Your words reveal your heart.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.