Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.