Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.