Building Blocks Study Guide (10 Pack)

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.