Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.