Amor y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Your words reveal your heart.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.