Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.