Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!