Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Your words reveal your heart.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.