Love and Respect Husband and Wife + Logo Mug Set

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Your words reveal your heart.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)