Love and Respect Coaster (6) Set

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Your words reveal your heart.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.