Love and Respect Husband + Logo Mug

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

God is good and wants what is best for us.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.