The Illumination Project

The Illumination Project is a six-week study by Joy Eggerichs, and her father Emerson Eggerichs (author of Love and Respect). The series captures a conversation between the two of them in front of a live audience.

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$ 149.00 
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What You Will Learn

A Candid Conversation Between Joy Eggerichs Reed and Her Father

Embark on a profound exploration into the intricate dynamics of successful relationships and unlock the transformative power of love and respect. Within this enlightening journey, you will delve into the complexities faced within marriages, particularly during times of conflict and difficulty. With empathy and insight, we will unravel the nuances of assumptions and misunderstandings that can hinder true connection. By peering beneath the surface, you will discover the profound impact that understanding and addressing underlying needs can have on your relationship. Prepare to be empowered as you gain invaluable tools to navigate challenging situations, foster empathy, and cultivate a deepened bond with your partner. Through this transformative exploration, you will unlock the potential to create a love-filled and mutually fulfilling relationship that withstands the test of time.

Embark on a thought-provoking journey of self-discovery as we uncover the deep-rooted reasons behind the fear of showing respect in relationships. Dive into the profound impact that personal definitions can have on our connections with others, and gain valuable insights into reshaping our perspectives for the better. Reflect on the transformative power of serving others, as we explore how acts of kindness and selflessness can revolutionize our relationships and bring joy to both giver and receiver. In moments of heartache and loneliness, we will illuminate the significance of community and the healing that can be found in genuine connections with others. Finally, prepare to be moved by the profound truth of Jesus' love and the life-changing implications it holds for each and every one of us. Through this soul-stirring exploration, you will gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your relationships, and the boundless love that has the power to transform your life.

Embark on an enlightening journey as we delve into the intricate complexities of gender differences and their profound implications in relationships. Take a moment to reflect on the concept of equality, recognizing that it goes beyond mere sameness and embraces the richness of diverse perspectives and strengths. Explore the challenges and freedoms that come with navigating these differences, delving into conflicts and communication patterns between men and women. Let us examine prevailing stereotypes and the vital importance of understanding and honoring each other's perspectives. Moreover, let us confront the damaging effects of labeling, acknowledging how it shapes our treatment of one another in the realms of dating and marriage. Through this transformative exploration, gain a deeper understanding of the multifaceted nature of gender dynamics, fostering healthier connections rooted in empathy, respect, and a celebration of the beautiful differences that make each individual unique.

Embark on a transformative exploration as we delve into the concept of contentment and seek guidance from God in navigating different life situations, as outlined in First Corinthians 7:3–11. Reflect on the implications of gender differences and the notion of hierarchy in relationships, contemplating their alignment with Ephesians 5:33. Dive deep into the profound essence of unconditional love and respect, recognizing their empowering nature and their potential to inspire positive change. Engage in a thought-provoking dialogue on assuming goodwill and find the balance between setting boundaries and extending grace in our relationships. Through this enlightening journey, discover the wisdom and principles that can cultivate contentment, harmony, and growth, both within ourselves and in our cherished connections with others.

Explore fears and hesitations around marriage for both single and married individuals, including the desire for marriage coupled with a fear of commitment. Reflect on the complexity of relationships, the responsibility of Christian marriages to represent the Christ-church relationship, and the impact of Christians' imperfect track record on marriage perception. Discuss doubts within a covenant and the concept of the "gift of singleness" and its implications on contentment and personal growth. Consider the tension between expressing desires and surrendering to God's will. Emphasize the inherent worth of every individual in the eyes of God.

In this riveting final session, Emerson and Joy graciously take center stage to address the burning questions of the audience. With their profound wisdom and genuine compassion, they embark on a captivating Q&A session that serves as the perfect culmination of the enlightening journey offered by The Illumination Project. Drawing from their vast experience and unique perspectives, Emerson and Joy dive deep into the heart of each query, unraveling insights and offering practical guidance to navigate the complexities of relationships and life. This cherished opportunity to engage directly with these esteemed individuals ensures an intimate and transformative experience, leaving attendees with a renewed sense of clarity, inspiration, and empowered to embrace the journey ahead.

The Illumination Project Kit

A Six-Week Study

The Illumination Project

The Illumination Project (TIP) by Joy Eggerichs and Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is a six-week video series that tackles the unique challenges faced by 18-35 year olds in matters of faith, dating, marriage, and male/female relationships. Filmed in front of a live audience in Portland, OR, Joy shares her relatable stories and questions while Emerson provides insights from his extensive study and experiences. This series aims to inspire wisdom and illumination among young adults by asking thought-provoking questions and offering valuable guidance. Available on DVD and online streaming, TIP includes accompanying journals and features talented Portland-based artists and musicians. Suitable for individuals aged 18 and older, it addresses common questions for singles, those in relationships, married, or divorced. TIP also serves as a valuable resource for older generations seeking to mentor young adults, making it an ideal tool for group discussions or personal exploration.

Who is it for?

The Illumination Project is a versatile tool suitable for individuals aged 18 and older. It is designed to be used in a small group context, ideally bringing together both young and old participants, although it can also be utilized among peers or independently. The series specifically addresses the common questions faced by 18-35 year olds, regardless of their relationship status, whether they are single, dating, married, or divorced. Additionally, TIP is an excellent resource for the older generation who wish to mentor younger individuals, as simply starting the videos will spark meaningful discussions. It is important to note that while The Illumination Project includes content relevant to singles, it is not exclusively focused on being a "singles study."

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Building Blocks

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Love & Respect

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Respectfully Yours

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Respectfully Yours

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love & Respect Book

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

The Love and Respect Experience

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Love & Respect in the Family

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Love & Respect Podcast

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Building Blocks

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Before You Hit Send

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Love & Respect

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Love & Respect in the Family

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Love & Respect in the Family

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respectfully Yours

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Love & Respect

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Love & Respect

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Respectfully Yours

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Building Blocks

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

The Love and Respect Experience

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

The Love and Respect Experience

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Respectfully Yours

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Respectfully Yours

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Respectfully Yours

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

The Love and Respect Experience

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Love & Respect

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Building Blocks

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

The Language of Love & Respect

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Love & Respect

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Love and Respect Experience

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Building Blocks

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Love & Respect

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The Love and Respect Experience

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Respectfully Yours

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Before You Hit Send

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

The Love and Respect Experience

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

The Love and Respect Experience

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Love & Respect

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Building Blocks

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

Respectfully Yours

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Love & Respect in the Family

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Building Blocks

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

The Love and Respect Experience

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Respectfully Yours

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

The Love and Respect Experience

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Before You Hit Send

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Before You Hit Send

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Love & Respect

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Respectfully Yours

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

The Love and Respect Experience

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Building Blocks

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Before You Hit Send

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience
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