The Illumination Project
The Illumination Project is a six-week study by Joy Eggerichs, and her father Emerson Eggerichs (author of Love and Respect). The series captures a conversation between the two of them in front of a live audience.
What all is included?
- 6-session DVD set
- 6 journals (approximately 105 pages)
- 6 sets of colored pencils
- 6 coasters
- Gold Star Czar button (will make sense later)
- Gold Star Stickers (will make sense for anyone who thrives on award-based systems)
- Book of Matches
- Footage of Portland-based artists and musicians
- Each week includes approximately 30 minutes of video, time for discussion, and a variety of suggestions for personal reflection
What You Will Learn
A Candid Conversation Between Joy Eggerichs Reed and Her Father
Embark on a profound exploration into the intricate dynamics of successful relationships and unlock the transformative power of love and respect. Within this enlightening journey, you will delve into the complexities faced within marriages, particularly during times of conflict and difficulty. With empathy and insight, we will unravel the nuances of assumptions and misunderstandings that can hinder true connection. By peering beneath the surface, you will discover the profound impact that understanding and addressing underlying needs can have on your relationship. Prepare to be empowered as you gain invaluable tools to navigate challenging situations, foster empathy, and cultivate a deepened bond with your partner. Through this transformative exploration, you will unlock the potential to create a love-filled and mutually fulfilling relationship that withstands the test of time.
Embark on a thought-provoking journey of self-discovery as we uncover the deep-rooted reasons behind the fear of showing respect in relationships. Dive into the profound impact that personal definitions can have on our connections with others, and gain valuable insights into reshaping our perspectives for the better. Reflect on the transformative power of serving others, as we explore how acts of kindness and selflessness can revolutionize our relationships and bring joy to both giver and receiver. In moments of heartache and loneliness, we will illuminate the significance of community and the healing that can be found in genuine connections with others. Finally, prepare to be moved by the profound truth of Jesus' love and the life-changing implications it holds for each and every one of us. Through this soul-stirring exploration, you will gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your relationships, and the boundless love that has the power to transform your life.
Embark on an enlightening journey as we delve into the intricate complexities of gender differences and their profound implications in relationships. Take a moment to reflect on the concept of equality, recognizing that it goes beyond mere sameness and embraces the richness of diverse perspectives and strengths. Explore the challenges and freedoms that come with navigating these differences, delving into conflicts and communication patterns between men and women. Let us examine prevailing stereotypes and the vital importance of understanding and honoring each other's perspectives. Moreover, let us confront the damaging effects of labeling, acknowledging how it shapes our treatment of one another in the realms of dating and marriage. Through this transformative exploration, gain a deeper understanding of the multifaceted nature of gender dynamics, fostering healthier connections rooted in empathy, respect, and a celebration of the beautiful differences that make each individual unique.
Embark on a transformative exploration as we delve into the concept of contentment and seek guidance from God in navigating different life situations, as outlined in First Corinthians 7:3–11. Reflect on the implications of gender differences and the notion of hierarchy in relationships, contemplating their alignment with Ephesians 5:33. Dive deep into the profound essence of unconditional love and respect, recognizing their empowering nature and their potential to inspire positive change. Engage in a thought-provoking dialogue on assuming goodwill and find the balance between setting boundaries and extending grace in our relationships. Through this enlightening journey, discover the wisdom and principles that can cultivate contentment, harmony, and growth, both within ourselves and in our cherished connections with others.
Explore fears and hesitations around marriage for both single and married individuals, including the desire for marriage coupled with a fear of commitment. Reflect on the complexity of relationships, the responsibility of Christian marriages to represent the Christ-church relationship, and the impact of Christians' imperfect track record on marriage perception. Discuss doubts within a covenant and the concept of the "gift of singleness" and its implications on contentment and personal growth. Consider the tension between expressing desires and surrendering to God's will. Emphasize the inherent worth of every individual in the eyes of God.
In this riveting final session, Emerson and Joy graciously take center stage to address the burning questions of the audience. With their profound wisdom and genuine compassion, they embark on a captivating Q&A session that serves as the perfect culmination of the enlightening journey offered by The Illumination Project. Drawing from their vast experience and unique perspectives, Emerson and Joy dive deep into the heart of each query, unraveling insights and offering practical guidance to navigate the complexities of relationships and life. This cherished opportunity to engage directly with these esteemed individuals ensures an intimate and transformative experience, leaving attendees with a renewed sense of clarity, inspiration, and empowered to embrace the journey ahead.
The Illumination Project
The Illumination Project (TIP) by Joy Eggerichs and Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is a six-week video series that tackles the unique challenges faced by 18-35 year olds in matters of faith, dating, marriage, and male/female relationships. Filmed in front of a live audience in Portland, OR, Joy shares her relatable stories and questions while Emerson provides insights from his extensive study and experiences. This series aims to inspire wisdom and illumination among young adults by asking thought-provoking questions and offering valuable guidance. Available on DVD and online streaming, TIP includes accompanying journals and features talented Portland-based artists and musicians. Suitable for individuals aged 18 and older, it addresses common questions for singles, those in relationships, married, or divorced. TIP also serves as a valuable resource for older generations seeking to mentor young adults, making it an ideal tool for group discussions or personal exploration.
Who is it for?
The Illumination Project is a versatile tool suitable for individuals aged 18 and older. It is designed to be used in a small group context, ideally bringing together both young and old participants, although it can also be utilized among peers or independently. The series specifically addresses the common questions faced by 18-35 year olds, regardless of their relationship status, whether they are single, dating, married, or divorced. Additionally, TIP is an excellent resource for the older generation who wish to mentor younger individuals, as simply starting the videos will spark meaningful discussions. It is important to note that while The Illumination Project includes content relevant to singles, it is not exclusively focused on being a "singles study."
Read What Others Say About The Illumination Project!
The Illumination Project is undeniably going to help our generation understand relationships. Joy is hilarious and has such great insight into the Love and Respect message. I am proud to call her a friend!
They are humble teachers who teach from their mistakes and their trials with this message. I felt like it was really practical, kind of like they were coming alongside us. It felt real.
Our home group is predominantly married with teens, but there are some divorced and singles and retired. What we liked about TIP is that it wasn’t the usual fill-in-the-blank video presentation.
...themes that are timeless but need to be communicated in a way that is going to speak to an audience that is already cynical, already skeptical.
The Illumination Project is literally going to help so many people. I love seeing those in our generation step up to communicate these timeless truths in ways our friends would appreciate. So thank you.
One thing that I just love about The Illumination Project, what makes it unique, is that you have these two different generations being represented in Emerson and Joy.
Under the banner of The Illumination Project, this father/daughter team are now combining their brilliant observations with a unique style of ‘wisdom meets passion’ to bring our society some of the answers for which many of us have waited our whole lives.
Having a teenage daughter of my own, I am hugely grateful Joy created this project and believe it will help the next generation talk about marriage and it’s purpose right now, instead of with a divorce lawyer 20 years from now.
The Illumination Project by Joy Eggerichs is not only timely and desperately needed, but it is also biblical.
My small group of twenty something women just finished week three of TIP last night, and I am LOVING it!
There is a way that God intended for relationships to work, and it’s not even all that difficult to understand! It was incredibly encouraging, even for a single guy like me.
Starting this small group has allowed us to examine what our own church has on these subjects and, surprisingly enough, this message has been in our literature for decades. But [TIP] brought it into a modern, practical light.
I think one of the best things about The Illumination Project, and getting the information out in an easy way for our generation to digest, is the value of that conversation coming to us in a way that we’re used to.
The Illumination Project not only brings us into content that we so desperately need to digest, but it gives it to us with a visual ‘spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.’ Bravo.
My group and I are loving this study and have had some amazing discussions because of it.
The Illumination Project shines a warm light on the conversations that all of us should be having. The unique content offering and engagement style makes this a must have, must do resource. Get started now!
When it comes to dating and friendship, my Christian peers and I need all the wisdom we can get. Joy’s heart is to lead and encourage our generation, and I trust The Illumination Project will do just that.
I love that it was written with a diverse group in mind --both men and women, married and unmarried.
I hope it opened up eyes to the way that authority can truly speak into your life as a younger person and how to receive what that generation has to give us.
We wondered if we’d be able to stimulate discussion afterward. Ha! The group couldn’t wait to comment!
It is full of so many funny and good things—there will be something that speaks to you, a little gem that will reveal it truly was a good use of your time.
I’m a widower, so I guess you could say that I’ve been wounded. But I want to put myself out there and find love again, and going through this series is helping me with that.
Learning about this makes me so hopeful—hopeful that perhaps I won’t find myself in a relationship that ends up drifting away.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.About Love & Respect
At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!
Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.
Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?
Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.
Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.
Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.
You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.
Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.
the heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.
You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.
Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)
A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.
Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.
Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.
When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.
When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.
Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.
God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.
When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.
Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.
If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.
Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.
You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.
When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.
God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?
Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.
Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires
You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.
When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.
I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson
Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.
God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!
It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.
As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.
Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.
We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.
Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.
If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.
Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.
Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.
Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?
You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.
The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.
Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.
Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)
Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.
A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.
When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.
We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.
Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.
If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).
Negative actions rarely produce positive results.
When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?
In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.
You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.
Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.
When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.
We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.
We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.
As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.
Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.
Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.
God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.
As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.
Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.
Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.
The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.
[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.
Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!
In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)
A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.
Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.
When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.
Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.
Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.
We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.
If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.
There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.
Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.
Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.
She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.
Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).
Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.
Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.
Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.
It is hard to be negative while being thankful.
We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”
When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.
The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.
We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.
Your spouse has a need only you can fill.
Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.
Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.