The Love and Respect Devotional
52 Weeks To Experience Love & Respect In Your Marriage. Have you ever been excited about having a regular devotional time with your spouse, only to end up feeling distracted, frustrated, or misunderstood after your time together? While most women are energized by the idea of going through a couples’ devotional, best-selling author and marriage expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has observed that many men feel the opposite.

















52 Weeks To Experience Love & Respect In Your Marriage
- God Joined You Together, And He Will Keep You Together
- The 80:20 Ratio: The Secret to Appreciating Your Marriage
- Mistakes Happen—And Then What?
- Question: What Is Love? Answer: C-O-U-P-L-E
- Question: What Is Respect? Answer: C-H-A-I-R-S
- Newton’s Law: The Crazy Cycle In Action
The Love & Respect Devotional
52 Weeks
A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love
Have you ever experienced the disappointment of eagerly anticipating a meaningful devotional time with your spouse, only to find yourself feeling distracted, frustrated, or misunderstood afterwards? It is a common scenario where women often feel energized by the idea of engaging in a couples' devotional, while men may have a different perspective. According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs many husbands simply do not find the standard devotional books for couples to be interesting or relatable. After attempting it a few times, they tend to seek alternative activities, leaving the devotional practice behind. Recognizing this common challenge, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs offers insights and solutions to transform your devotional experience.

Learning Love & Respect
With the invaluable insights gained from surveying thousands of couples about their deepest concerns and struggles, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has meticulously crafted a fifty-two week devotional that speaks to the hearts of both wives and husbands. In this transformative journey, each concise devotional is thoughtfully designed to fit into your busy lifestyle, guiding you to explore the core principles of Love & Respect while inviting you to uncover the personal messages God has for you individually and as a couple. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, Dr. Emerson provides practical, tailored advice and direction to ensure this devotional becomes a powerful catalyst for growth in your marriage. This tool will invigorate your relationship with God and rejuvenate your marriage with the transformative power of love and respect.

From Husbands and Wives
When my wife...first pulled out the book and looked at me, I can honestly say my spirit deflated. I immediately thought, “Oh now, after a long day at the office, she’s gonna want me to reflect on a scripture passage and pour out my heart and soul about how I don’t measure up.” After she read the introduction, I regained HOPE! EE nailed it – let’s take this a little at a time and even do some of the introspection on our own – vertical first, horizontal next…
Husband and Wife
Love this book! My husband & I just started this devotional book together & we both love it so far!!!! It is really putting the husband & wives as equals & teaching you how to truly love & respect your spouse.
Husband and Wife
We’ve read through the devotional together several times, which led to countless intimate and energizing conversations. Of all of their resources I think this is the best, because it captures all of the wisdom in short reads that prompt rich dialogue In 12 years of marriage we have literally shared hundreds of moments over coffee or dinner that were shaped and blessed by the L&R content. Forever grateful for the genuine influence the Eggerichs have had on our family.
Husband and Wife
My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.
Husband and Wife
When my wife...first pulled out the book and looked at me, I can honestly say my spirit deflated. I immediately thought, “Oh now, after a long day at the office, she’s gonna want me to reflect on a scripture passage and pour out my heart and soul about how I don’t measure up.” After she read the introduction, I regained HOPE! EE nailed it – let’s take this a little at a time and even do some of the introspection on our own – vertical first, horizontal next…
Love this book! My husband & I just started this devotional book together & we both love it so far!!!! It is really putting the husband & wives as equals & teaching you how to truly love & respect your spouse.
We’ve read through the devotional together several times, which led to countless intimate and energizing conversations. Of all of their resources I think this is the best, because it captures all of the wisdom in short reads that prompt rich dialogue In 12 years of marriage we have literally shared hundreds of moments over coffee or dinner that were shaped and blessed by the L&R content. Forever grateful for the genuine influence the Eggerichs have had on our family.
My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
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Product Quotes
If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.
We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.
The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.
Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.
Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.
Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.
As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!
We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.
Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.
[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.
Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).
If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.
A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.
Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?
We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.
We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.
You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.
Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.
Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.
Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.
Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.
Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.
Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.
Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.
Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.
Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.
Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.
The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.
Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?
One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.
She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.
Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.
It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.
If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.
Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)
When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.
Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.
I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.
Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)
We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.
Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.
Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.
Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.
It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.
Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.
God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.
A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.
It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.
“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.
His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.
When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.
Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.
Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.
If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.
Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.
Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.
When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.
Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).
When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.
When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.
The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.
Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.
Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.
Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.
A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.
Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.
The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.
Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.
“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.
As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.
Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.
We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.
Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.
Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.
Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).
Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)








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