The Love and Respect Devotional
52 Weeks To Experience Love & Respect In Your Marriage. Have you ever been excited about having a regular devotional time with your spouse, only to end up feeling distracted, frustrated, or misunderstood after your time together? While most women are energized by the idea of going through a couples’ devotional, best-selling author and marriage expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has observed that many men feel the opposite.
52 Weeks To Experience Love & Respect In Your Marriage
- God Joined You Together, And He Will Keep You Together
- The 80:20 Ratio: The Secret to Appreciating Your Marriage
- Mistakes Happen—And Then What?
- Question: What Is Love? Answer: C-O-U-P-L-E
- Question: What Is Respect? Answer: C-H-A-I-R-S
- Newton’s Law: The Crazy Cycle In Action
The Love & Respect Devotional
52 Weeks
A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love
Have you ever experienced the disappointment of eagerly anticipating a meaningful devotional time with your spouse, only to find yourself feeling distracted, frustrated, or misunderstood afterwards? It is a common scenario where women often feel energized by the idea of engaging in a couples' devotional, while men may have a different perspective. According to Dr. Emerson Eggerichs many husbands simply do not find the standard devotional books for couples to be interesting or relatable. After attempting it a few times, they tend to seek alternative activities, leaving the devotional practice behind. Recognizing this common challenge, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs offers insights and solutions to transform your devotional experience.
Learning Love & Respect
With the invaluable insights gained from surveying thousands of couples about their deepest concerns and struggles, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has meticulously crafted a fifty-two week devotional that speaks to the hearts of both wives and husbands. In this transformative journey, each concise devotional is thoughtfully designed to fit into your busy lifestyle, guiding you to explore the core principles of Love & Respect while inviting you to uncover the personal messages God has for you individually and as a couple. Recognizing the uniqueness of every relationship, Dr. Emerson provides practical, tailored advice and direction to ensure this devotional becomes a powerful catalyst for growth in your marriage. This tool will invigorate your relationship with God and rejuvenate your marriage with the transformative power of love and respect.
From Husbands and Wives
When my wife...first pulled out the book and looked at me, I can honestly say my spirit deflated. I immediately thought, “Oh now, after a long day at the office, she’s gonna want me to reflect on a scripture passage and pour out my heart and soul about how I don’t measure up.” After she read the introduction, I regained HOPE! EE nailed it – let’s take this a little at a time and even do some of the introspection on our own – vertical first, horizontal next…
Husband and Wife
Love this book! My husband & I just started this devotional book together & we both love it so far!!!! It is really putting the husband & wives as equals & teaching you how to truly love & respect your spouse.
Husband and Wife
We’ve read through the devotional together several times, which led to countless intimate and energizing conversations. Of all of their resources I think this is the best, because it captures all of the wisdom in short reads that prompt rich dialogue In 12 years of marriage we have literally shared hundreds of moments over coffee or dinner that were shaped and blessed by the L&R content. Forever grateful for the genuine influence the Eggerichs have had on our family.
Husband and Wife
My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.
Husband and Wife
When my wife...first pulled out the book and looked at me, I can honestly say my spirit deflated. I immediately thought, “Oh now, after a long day at the office, she’s gonna want me to reflect on a scripture passage and pour out my heart and soul about how I don’t measure up.” After she read the introduction, I regained HOPE! EE nailed it – let’s take this a little at a time and even do some of the introspection on our own – vertical first, horizontal next…
Love this book! My husband & I just started this devotional book together & we both love it so far!!!! It is really putting the husband & wives as equals & teaching you how to truly love & respect your spouse.
We’ve read through the devotional together several times, which led to countless intimate and energizing conversations. Of all of their resources I think this is the best, because it captures all of the wisdom in short reads that prompt rich dialogue In 12 years of marriage we have literally shared hundreds of moments over coffee or dinner that were shaped and blessed by the L&R content. Forever grateful for the genuine influence the Eggerichs have had on our family.
My wife and I facilitate L&R classes and always recommend this. We continue to go back through it once we finish it and we use it daily – not weekly. It never gets old. Each devotion is a great reminder.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
About Love & RespectProduct Quotes
A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.
A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.
In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.
Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.
Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.
Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.
Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires
Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).
Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.
Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?
Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.
The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.
Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.
Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.
We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.
Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.
Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.
[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?
The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.
If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.
Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”
We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.
Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.
Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.
“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.
God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.
The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.
Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.
Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)
When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.
Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.
A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.
Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.
[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.
When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.
Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)
Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.
We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.
To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.
“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.
Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.
Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.
We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.
Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.
God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.
When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.
Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.
To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.
Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.
Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.
Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!
We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”
It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.
The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.
Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"
Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.
I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson
Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.
Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.
Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“
This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.
[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.
In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.
You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.
We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.
As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.
When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.
His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.
Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.
When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?
If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.
He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.
Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).
You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.
I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?
You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.
When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.
Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?
No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.