The Language of Love & Respect Workbook

Now with the Language of Love & Respect companion workbook, you can study Dr. Eggerichs’ practical, step-by-step approach for how husbands and wives can learn to speak each other’s distinct language. This is a must have for an in depth study as you read the book.

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Explore The Language of Love & Respect

Crack the Communication Code in Marriage

This concise yet powerful resource takes you on a transformative short course, delving into the core principles of love and respect in relationships. Discover profound insights and practical guidance as you navigate the intricacies of communication, unlocking the key to nurturing a vibrant and fulfilling connection with your spouse. With its condensed format, this book within a book offers a valuable resource for those seeking to enhance their understanding of love and respect in a concise and impactful way.

Discover the three vital truths for better communication. These pivotal chapters shed light on essential aspects of effective communication in relationships. Delve into the significance of the mouth and words within the context of marriage, understanding their impact on connection and harmony. Embrace the beauty of differences and learn to navigate varying viewpoints with empathy and respect. Reflect on the crucial role of trust and goodwill in communication, fostering openness and vulnerability. Through these vital truths, you will gain practical strategies to enhance your communication skills, fostering deep and meaningful connections with your spouse.

Unmask the relentless enemy of marital communication known as "The Crazy Cycle." This eye-opening resource sheds light on the destructive patterns that can sabotage communication in relationships. Explore the negative spirals of reactions and responses that can escalate conflicts, leading to emotional disconnection and frustration. Gain profound insights into breaking free from this cycle, learning how to navigate conflicts with grace and understanding, and restoring harmony in your communication dynamics.

Discover the transformative power of "The Energizing Cycle" and its profound impact on communication. Dive into the core principle of meeting your spouse's needs as a foundation for fostering understanding and connection. Explore practical strategies for recognizing and fulfilling your spouse's emotional and relational needs, unlocking a powerful cycle of mutual support and engagement. This resource offers invaluable guidance to cultivate a thriving and vibrant connection built on love and respect.

The Rewarded Cycle in the book emphasizes unconditional love and respect in marriage, guided by obedience to God's commands, irrespective of a spouse's response. It highlights the spiritual rewards from God when one acts in love and respect. The book also introduces the "Jesus way of talking," which encourages truthful, uplifting, and forgiving communication. This cycle offers a liberating perspective, especially for challenging marriages, suggesting that one's actions can be spiritually rewarding even if their spouse doesn't reciprocate.

The Language of Love & Respect Workbook

Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate

Unlock the Power of Communication

Communication expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs says that the problem is couples are sending each other messages in 'code,' but they won't crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect.

Please note: This is for use with the Language of Love & Respect book and not for use with the DVD which is a recording of the Live Conference.

Revolutionize Your Communication

Communication between couples has been dissected in thousands of books and articles, so why does it remain the number one marriage problem? "Because," says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "most spouses don't know that they speak two different languages.

Now with The Language of Love and Respect companion workbook, the message of this hardcover tradebook can be studied and applied whether for a group or for individual couples. The result will be better communication, mutual understanding, and a successful godly marriage.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Love & Respect

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

The Love and Respect Experience

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Respectfully Yours

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Love & Respect

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Love & Respect

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

Building Blocks

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Building Blocks

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Love & Respect

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Love & Respect

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Love and Respect Experience

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

The Love and Respect Experience

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Love & Respect Podcast

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Before You Hit Send

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Before You Hit Send

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Love & Respect in the Family

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Love & Respect

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Building Blocks

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Building Blocks

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

The Love and Respect Experience

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Love & Respect Podcast

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Love & Respect

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Love & Respect

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Respectfully Yours

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Respectfully Yours

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

The Language of Love & Respect

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Before You Hit Send

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Before You Hit Send

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The Love and Respect Experience

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

The Language of Love & Respect

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Love & Respect

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

The Love and Respect Experience

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Before You Hit Send

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Building Blocks

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Love & Respect

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Love & Respect in the Family

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Building Blocks

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Love & Respect Podcast

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Building Blocks

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Respectfully Yours

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Building Blocks

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Building Blocks

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Respectfully Yours

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Before You Hit Send

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Respectfully Yours

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Before You Hit Send

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Love & Respect Podcast

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience
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