The Language of Love & Respect Workbook

Now with the Language of Love & Respect companion workbook, you can study Dr. Eggerichs’ practical, step-by-step approach for how husbands and wives can learn to speak each other’s distinct language. This is a must have for an in depth study as you read the book.

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Explore The Language of Love & Respect

Crack the Communication Code in Marriage

This concise yet powerful resource takes you on a transformative short course, delving into the core principles of love and respect in relationships. Discover profound insights and practical guidance as you navigate the intricacies of communication, unlocking the key to nurturing a vibrant and fulfilling connection with your spouse. With its condensed format, this book within a book offers a valuable resource for those seeking to enhance their understanding of love and respect in a concise and impactful way.

Discover the three vital truths for better communication. These pivotal chapters shed light on essential aspects of effective communication in relationships. Delve into the significance of the mouth and words within the context of marriage, understanding their impact on connection and harmony. Embrace the beauty of differences and learn to navigate varying viewpoints with empathy and respect. Reflect on the crucial role of trust and goodwill in communication, fostering openness and vulnerability. Through these vital truths, you will gain practical strategies to enhance your communication skills, fostering deep and meaningful connections with your spouse.

Unmask the relentless enemy of marital communication known as "The Crazy Cycle." This eye-opening resource sheds light on the destructive patterns that can sabotage communication in relationships. Explore the negative spirals of reactions and responses that can escalate conflicts, leading to emotional disconnection and frustration. Gain profound insights into breaking free from this cycle, learning how to navigate conflicts with grace and understanding, and restoring harmony in your communication dynamics.

Discover the transformative power of "The Energizing Cycle" and its profound impact on communication. Dive into the core principle of meeting your spouse's needs as a foundation for fostering understanding and connection. Explore practical strategies for recognizing and fulfilling your spouse's emotional and relational needs, unlocking a powerful cycle of mutual support and engagement. This resource offers invaluable guidance to cultivate a thriving and vibrant connection built on love and respect.

The Rewarded Cycle in the book emphasizes unconditional love and respect in marriage, guided by obedience to God's commands, irrespective of a spouse's response. It highlights the spiritual rewards from God when one acts in love and respect. The book also introduces the "Jesus way of talking," which encourages truthful, uplifting, and forgiving communication. This cycle offers a liberating perspective, especially for challenging marriages, suggesting that one's actions can be spiritually rewarding even if their spouse doesn't reciprocate.

The Language of Love & Respect Workbook

Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate

Unlock the Power of Communication

Communication expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs says that the problem is couples are sending each other messages in 'code,' but they won't crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect.

Please note: This is for use with the Language of Love & Respect book and not for use with the DVD which is a recording of the Live Conference.

Revolutionize Your Communication

Communication between couples has been dissected in thousands of books and articles, so why does it remain the number one marriage problem? "Because," says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "most spouses don't know that they speak two different languages.

Now with The Language of Love and Respect companion workbook, the message of this hardcover tradebook can be studied and applied whether for a group or for individual couples. The result will be better communication, mutual understanding, and a successful godly marriage.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Love & Respect Podcast

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Building Blocks

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Before You Hit Send

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Love & Respect Boook

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Building Blocks

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

Building Blocks

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Building Blocks

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Building Blocks

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Love & Respect

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Love & Respect

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

The Illumination Project (Journal)

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Love & Respect Podcast

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

The Love and Respect Experience

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Building Blocks

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Respectfully Yours

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Love & Respect Podcast

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Building Blocks

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Respectfully Yours

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Love & Respect in the Family

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Building Blocks

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respectfully Yours

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Before You Hit Send

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Love & Respect

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Love & Respect

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Love & Respect

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Respectfully Yours

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

The Love and Respect Experience

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

The Language of Love & Respect

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The Love and Respect Experience

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Love & Respect in the Family

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

The Love and Respect Experience

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

The Love and Respect Experience

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The Love and Respect Experience

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

The Love and Respect Experience

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Love & Respect Podcast

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

The Love and Respect Experience

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Before You Hit Send

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

The Love and Respect Experience

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Before You Hit Send

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Respectfully Yours

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Building Blocks

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Building Blocks

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

The Love and Respect Experience

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

The Love and Respect Experience

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Love & Respect Podcast

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Before You Hit Send

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The Language of Love & Respect Book

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Respectfully Yours

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Love & Respect in the Family
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