The Crazy Cycle In Marriage - Study Guide (Download)
This is a digital study guide that goes with The Crazy Cycle In Marriage video course. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.


Where To Buy
The Crazy Cycle In Marriage Study Guide
Digital Download
The Crazy Cycle in Marriage Workbook (download) completes the 4-part video-driven Bible study from Right Now Media (also available as a L&R course) and includes leader's guide notes, summaries and discussion questions for all four sessions, and information on how to get the most out of this video study.

Whether you're studying on your own or leading a group as a volunteer or a paid staff member, this downloadable material will help you and your group focus on the meaningful teaching in The Crazy Cycle in Marriage.
In order for every member of your group to get the most out of this series, everyone will need a copy of the workbook.
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Read What Others Are Saying About The Crazy Cycle in Marriage!
"My husband and I ... were definitely on the crazy cycle. We didn't know it until recognizing it after your explanation. It was like a light bulb went off showing us what we were doing over and over again."
Wife
"My marriage is changed forever! I want to let men who are struggling know that they can change their marriage. If you apply these principles, they will make a difference, my marriage is living proof."
Husband
"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."
Couple
"I’m a pastor and was looking for a DVD series to use with couples in pastoral counseling. I feel thrilled that I was able to get the Crazy Cycle 4 session series [online] to help them."
Pastor
"Thank you for helping families to understand and be better. Also, thank you for helping us again to rely on God to help transform us!"
Wife
"Excellent videos. My husband and I have learned what causes us to get on the crazy cycle during conflict. That has been eye opening and an area for growth in our marriage. He is my ally, not my enemy."
Wife
"My husband and I ... were definitely on the crazy cycle. We didn't know it until recognizing it after your explanation. It was like a light bulb went off showing us what we were doing over and over again."
"My marriage is changed forever! I want to let men who are struggling know that they can change their marriage. If you apply these principles, they will make a difference, my marriage is living proof."
"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."
"I’m a pastor and was looking for a DVD series to use with couples in pastoral counseling. I feel thrilled that I was able to get the Crazy Cycle 4 session series [online] to help them."
"...I thank you SO much for helping us to understand the concepts of love and respect. While I did not have great role models growing up, I am committed to showing my husband and sons the respect that they deserve as the men in our home. I have seen the love for myself and my daughter come around in multiplied amounts, which has made our home so much happier all around. Thank you for helping families to understand and be better. Also, thank you for helping us again to rely on God to help transform us!"
"Excellent videos. My husband and I have learned what causes us to get on the crazy cycle during conflict. That has been eye opening and an area for growth in our marriage. He is my ally, not my enemy."
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
About Love & Respect.jpg)
Product Quotes
Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.
[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.
We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.
When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.
God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?
Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.
When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)
Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.
The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.
[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.
A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.
Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.
Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.
God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!
If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.
When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.
The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.
It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.
There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.
It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.
Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)
Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?
As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.
When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.
A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.
Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.
We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.
How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.
When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.
It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.
Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)
A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.
When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.
Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.
In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.
If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.
The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.
Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.
You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.
Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"
You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”
When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.
Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.
When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.
Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.
God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.
The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.
Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.
Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.
When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.
Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.
To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.
Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.
Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.
Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.
Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.
There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.
A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.
At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!
As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.
Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)
This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.
Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.
Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.
Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.
Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?
To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.
Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.
Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.
We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.
To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.
Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.
When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.
Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)
Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).
As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.
We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.
Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.
I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson
Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.
