The Crazy Cycle In The Workplace - Study Guide (Download)

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Your words reveal your heart.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.