No items found.
Left Arrow
No items found.
Right Arrow

Where To Buy

Play Button

Close
Close Button


The Crazy Cycle in the Workplace

Study Guide - Digital Download

The Secret to Thriving Workplaces

Organizations succeed when their people keep their noses to the grindstone and do their work…right? Maybe in the short-term, but not after the burnout, employee turnover, and plummeting team spirit that inevitably follows. Regardless of the work required, the culture of a job has a profound effect on morale, especially when it comes to the relationship between management and employees. What does it look like for companies to encourage a positive environment for all levels of work? What is the secret?

Transform Your Workplace

In this 2-part series, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs hones in on the transformative power of a workplace marked by two crucial qualities—personal care and respect. Without a healthy dose of both, a Crazy Cycle of disillusion begins. Because work plays a central role in life, it impacts the rest of our experiences. Applicable to employees and leadership alike, Emerson's teaching demonstrates how attentive, caring management garners respect from its people and in return leads to a strengthened outlook for an organization moving forward. Long-term success requires a broader vision, one that makes decisions beneficial to both the product and the people involved in its production.

Join Dr. Eggerichs in this two part video series! Also includes written content to facilitate questions, reflection and discussion.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

the heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Before You Hit Send

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Before You Hit Send

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Before You Hit Send

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Love & Respect Podcast

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

The Love and Respect Experience

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Building Blocks

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Love & Respect

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Love & Respect in the Family

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Before You Hit Send

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Love & Respect Podcast

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

The Love and Respect Experience

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Building Blocks

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Respectfully Yours

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Love & Respect

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Building Blocks

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Building Blocks

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

The Love and Respect Experience

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

Love & Respect Book

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

The Love and Respect Experience

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

Building Blocks

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Love & Respect Podcast

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

The Love and Respect Experience

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Building Blocks

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Building Blocks

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

The Love and Respect Experience

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Building Blocks

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Before You Hit Send

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

The Language of Love & Respect

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Respectfully Yours

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The Love and Respect Experience

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Building Blocks

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

The Love and Respect Experience

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

The Love and Respect Experience

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Building Blocks

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Love & Respect Podcast

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Love & Respect

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Love & Respect in the Family

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Love & Respect in the Family

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Love & Respect

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Love & Respect

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Love & Respect in the Family

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Love & Respect Book

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Before You Hit Send

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Love & Respect

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Respectfully Yours

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Respectfully Yours

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The Language of Love & Respect

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love & Respect Book
Left ArrowRight Arrow