The Illumination Project Journal (Download)
This is a digital download of the Journal for the Illumination Project video based series. You will receive 1 journal (105 pages) in PDF format. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.
What You Will Learn
A Candid Conversation Between Joy Eggerichs Reed and Her Father
Embark on a profound exploration into the intricate dynamics of successful relationships and unlock the transformative power of love and respect. Within this enlightening journey, you will delve into the complexities faced within marriages, particularly during times of conflict and difficulty. With empathy and insight, we will unravel the nuances of assumptions and misunderstandings that can hinder true connection. By peering beneath the surface, you will discover the profound impact that understanding and addressing underlying needs can have on your relationship. Prepare to be empowered as you gain invaluable tools to navigate challenging situations, foster empathy, and cultivate a deepened bond with your partner. Through this transformative exploration, you will unlock the potential to create a love-filled and mutually fulfilling relationship that withstands the test of time.
Embark on a thought-provoking journey of self-discovery as we uncover the deep-rooted reasons behind the fear of showing respect in relationships. Dive into the profound impact that personal definitions can have on our connections with others, and gain valuable insights into reshaping our perspectives for the better. Reflect on the transformative power of serving others, as we explore how acts of kindness and selflessness can revolutionize our relationships and bring joy to both giver and receiver. In moments of heartache and loneliness, we will illuminate the significance of community and the healing that can be found in genuine connections with others. Finally, prepare to be moved by the profound truth of Jesus' love and the life-changing implications it holds for each and every one of us. Through this soul-stirring exploration, you will gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your relationships, and the boundless love that has the power to transform your life.
Embark on an enlightening journey as we delve into the intricate complexities of gender differences and their profound implications in relationships. Take a moment to reflect on the concept of equality, recognizing that it goes beyond mere sameness and embraces the richness of diverse perspectives and strengths. Explore the challenges and freedoms that come with navigating these differences, delving into conflicts and communication patterns between men and women. Let us examine prevailing stereotypes and the vital importance of understanding and honoring each other's perspectives. Moreover, let us confront the damaging effects of labeling, acknowledging how it shapes our treatment of one another in the realms of dating and marriage. Through this transformative exploration, gain a deeper understanding of the multifaceted nature of gender dynamics, fostering healthier connections rooted in empathy, respect, and a celebration of the beautiful differences that make each individual unique.
Embark on a transformative exploration as we delve into the concept of contentment and seek guidance from God in navigating different life situations, as outlined in First Corinthians 7:3–11. Reflect on the implications of gender differences and the notion of hierarchy in relationships, contemplating their alignment with Ephesians 5:33. Dive deep into the profound essence of unconditional love and respect, recognizing their empowering nature and their potential to inspire positive change. Engage in a thought-provoking dialogue on assuming goodwill and find the balance between setting boundaries and extending grace in our relationships. Through this enlightening journey, discover the wisdom and principles that can cultivate contentment, harmony, and growth, both within ourselves and in our cherished connections with others.
Explore fears and hesitations around marriage for both single and married individuals, including the desire for marriage coupled with a fear of commitment. Reflect on the complexity of relationships, the responsibility of Christian marriages to represent the Christ-church relationship, and the impact of Christians' imperfect track record on marriage perception. Discuss doubts within a covenant and the concept of the "gift of singleness" and its implications on contentment and personal growth. Consider the tension between expressing desires and surrendering to God's will. Emphasize the inherent worth of every individual in the eyes of God.
In this riveting final session, Emerson and Joy graciously take center stage to address the burning questions of the audience. With their profound wisdom and genuine compassion, they embark on a captivating Q&A session that serves as the perfect culmination of the enlightening journey offered by The Illumination Project. Drawing from their vast experience and unique perspectives, Emerson and Joy dive deep into the heart of each query, unraveling insights and offering practical guidance to navigate the complexities of relationships and life. This cherished opportunity to engage directly with these esteemed individuals ensures an intimate and transformative experience, leaving attendees with a renewed sense of clarity, inspiration, and empowered to embrace the journey ahead.
Discover The Illumination Project
The Illumination Project is a study intended for individuals aged 18 and older. It is specifically designed for small group settings, where the beauty of intergenerational dynamics can be celebrated, although it can also be adapted for peer groups or individual study. For the younger generation, aged 18-35, this series directly addresses common questions and challenges they encounter, regardless of their relationship status - whether single, dating, married, or divorced. As for the older generation, The Illumination Project presents an excellent opportunity for those who are eager to mentor others. By simply pressing "play," engaging discussions are effortlessly initiated. It's important to note that while this project contains relevant content for singles, it is not exclusively focused on being a "singles study."
Elevate Relationships with The Illumination Project!
Embark on an illuminating journey with The Illumination Project, a captivating six-week study brought to life by the dynamic duo of Joy Eggerichs Reed and her esteemed father, Emerson Eggerichs, acclaimed author of the renowned book Love and Respect. Delve into the heart of their compelling dialogue, masterfully captured before a live audience, as they unveil profound insights and practical wisdom on topics that truly matter. Join them on this transformative quest, as their thought-provoking exchange ignites a spark of inspiration within you, guiding you towards deeper understanding and enriched relationships. The Illumination Project is your invitation to witness the power of their shared wisdom and experience firsthand, setting the stage for personal growth and meaningful connections that will resonate long after the final session.
Hear What Others Are Saying About The Illumination Project!
The Illumination Project is undeniably going to help our generation understand relationships. Joy is hilarious and has such great insight into the Love and Respect message. I am proud to call her a friend!
They are humble teachers who teach from their mistakes and their trials with this message. I felt like it was really practical, kind of like they were coming alongside us. It felt real.
Our home group is predominantly married with teens, but there are some divorced and singles and retired. What we liked about TIP is that it wasn’t the usual fill-in-the-blank video presentation.
The Illumination Project is literally going to help so many people. I love seeing those in our generation step up to communicate these timeless truths in ways our friends would appreciate. So thank you.
One thing that I just love about The Illumination Project, what makes it unique, is that you have these two different generations being represented in Emerson and Joy.
Under the banner of The Illumination Project, this father/daughter team are now combining their brilliant observations with a unique style of ‘wisdom meets passion’ to bring our society some of the answers for which many of us have waited our whole lives.
Having a teenage daughter of my own, I am hugely grateful Joy created this project and believe it will help the next generation talk about marriage and it’s purpose right now, instead of with a divorce lawyer 20 years from now.
The Illumination Project by Joy Eggerichs is not only timely and desperately needed, but it is also biblical.
My small group of twenty something women just finished week three of TIP last night, and I am LOVING it!
There is a way that God intended for relationships to work, and it’s not even all that difficult to understand! It was incredibly encouraging, even for a single guy like me.
Starting this small group has allowed us to examine what our own church has on these subjects and, surprisingly enough, this message has been in our literature for decades. But [TIP] brought it into a modern, practical light.
I think one of the best things about The Illumination Project, and getting the information out in an easy way for our generation to digest, is the value of that conversation coming to us in a way that we’re used to.
The Illumination Project not only brings us into content that we so desperately need to digest, but it gives it to us with a visual ‘spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down.’ Bravo.
My group and I are loving this study and have had some amazing discussions because of it.
The Illumination Project shines a warm light on the conversations that all of us should be having. The unique content offering and engagement style makes this a must have, must do resource. Get started now!
...themes that are timeless but need to be communicated in a way that is going to speak to an audience that is already cynical, already skeptical.
When it comes to dating and friendship, my Christian peers and I need all the wisdom we can get. Joy’s heart is to lead and encourage our generation, and I trust The Illumination Project will do just that.
I love that it was written with a diverse group in mind --both men and women, married and unmarried.
I hope it opened up eyes to the way that authority can truly speak into your life as a younger person and how to receive what that generation has to give us.
We wondered if we’d be able to stimulate discussion afterward. Ha! The group couldn’t wait to comment!
It is full of so many funny and good things—there will be something that speaks to you, a little gem that will reveal it truly was a good use of your time.
I’m a widower, so I guess you could say that I’ve been wounded. But I want to put myself out there and find love again, and going through this series is helping me with that.
Learning about this makes me so hopeful—hopeful that perhaps I won’t find myself in a relationship that ends up drifting away.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.About Love & Respect
“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“
You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.
Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.
When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.
Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!
A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.
I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?
Your spouse has a need only you can fill.
The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.
A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.
Before hitting send, ask yourself, Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?
You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.
Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.
Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.
Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires
A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.
Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.
Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)
Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.
As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.
If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.
Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)
In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.
Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.
Your words reveal your heart.
Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.
You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.
Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.
You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.
Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.
Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.
Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)
[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.
To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.
Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.
When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.
Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.
“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.
We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.
[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.
God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.
Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.
There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.
The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.
One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.
Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)
Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.
Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).
the heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.
Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.
Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.
When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.
Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.
God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.
God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.
Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)
Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!
A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.
Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.
We are worth Jesus to the Father.
A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.
We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.
Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.
There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.
It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.
It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.
She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.
If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.
Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?
If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.
Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.
Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.
Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.
His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.
“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.
The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.
As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!
[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”
Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.
Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?
A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.
You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.
Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.
Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.
Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.
Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.
Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)
When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.
To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.
When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.
The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.