Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

Your words reveal your heart.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.