Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

We are equal but we are not the same.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.