Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

We are equal but we are not the same.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.