Husband & Wife Mug Set and Coaster

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?