Husband & Wife Mug Set and Coaster

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

God is good and wants what is best for us.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

We are equal but we are not the same.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)