Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study - Workbook (Download)

This is a digital download purchase of the study guide for the 10 Week Love and Respect Conference series, available to watch in both DVD and online format. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.

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The Love & Respect Conference Workbook

Unlock the secret to a thriving marriage

In Love & Respect, author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Crazy Cycle, a negative communication pattern that can occur in marriages. When one partner responds in a way that feels disrespectful to the other partner, it can trigger a negative reaction, causing the cycle to continue. Learn how to break the cycle and build a stronger relationship.

To break the Crazy Cycle, Dr. Eggerichs suggests that couples need to recognize and address the underlying needs for love and respect in both partners. By showing love and respect to one another, couples can create a positive cycle of interaction and strengthen their relationship. You will learn practical tips and exercises to cultivate this positive cycle.

Through the Crazy Cycle, Love & Respect offers valuable insights into the ways that negative communication patterns can impact a marriage. By understanding and addressing these patterns, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs presents an alternative to the Crazy Cycle: the Energizing Cycle. This positive communication pattern starts with the wife showing respect to her husband, which makes him feel respected. In turn, the husband shows love to his wife, which makes her feel loved. This creates a positive feedback loop where both partners feel loved and respected.

By consistently showing appreciation, affection, and empathy, couples can cultivate the Energizing Cycle and build a strong and healthy relationship. Love and respect are two essential needs for both partners in a marriage, and meeting these needs can lead to greater intimacy, connection, and satisfaction in the relationship.

The Energizing Cycle offers a practical and effective way for couples to break negative communication patterns and build a more positive and fulfilling relationship. By intentionally showing love and respect to one another, couples can strengthen their bond and experience greater happiness and fulfillment in their marriage.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the concept of the Rewarded Cycle, where the husband demonstrates love regardless of her respect and the wife demonstrates respect regardless of his love.

But what if your husband doesn't show you love when you show him respect? What if your wife doesn't show you respect as you show her love? If you get no results from practicing Love & Respect, why bother?

The Rewarded Cycle gives you the answers to these questions. In a real sense, the Rewarded Cycle is the most important session in this course as we are called to love and respect are spouse unconditionally, unto the Lord.

The C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym stands for Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem. This is how a husband shows love to his wife.

Each element of the C.O.U.P.L.E. acronym represents a key aspect of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. By working to develop these qualities in their marriage, couples can build a stronger and more loving relationship.

In these six area you will learn how to spell "love" to your wife.

The C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym presented in this course gives you practical, biblical ways that will help you become more respectful women. Wives do not need a lot of coaching on being loving. It is something God built into them, and they do it naturally. However, they do need help with respect.

Providing more energy for your marriage is exactly what the C.H.A.I.R.S. acronym is all about. C.H.A.I.R.S stands for the six major values that your husband holds: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality.

In these six areas you will learn how to spell "respect" to your husband.

Love & Respect Conference and 10 Week Study

Workbook Digital Download

The Workbook

This is the comprehensive workbook to the new Love & Respect Conference DVDs and 10 Week study. This workbook can facilitate individual, couple or group study and includes a LEADER’S GUIDE section. It can be used to just watch the live conference portion of the DVDs, using the fill-in-the-blank in-session guide only, but the best option is to combine this with a more in-depth study using the discussion questions for each session, the application portion, the mid-week devotional time and more! The good news is you get both in this workbook.

More About the Conference DVDS and Study

Excited yet burdened about male and female relationships, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah launched the Love & Respect Conferences in 1999. Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, this conference has given hope and new life to thousands of marriages over the last 17 years and is now available in HD on DVD for the first time, with over 6 hours of dynamic teaching on five discs! It is a great resource for your personal or counseling library. Filmed in front of a live audience this presentation is perfect for individuals, couples and small groups.

Get to know...

Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

About Love & Respect
Portrait of Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs

Product Quotes

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Love & Respect

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Love & Respect

Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Love & Respect

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Respectfully Yours

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Love & Respect in the Family

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Before You Hit Send

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

The Love and Respect Experience

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Building Blocks

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

Love & Respect in the Family

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Love & Respect Book

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

Love & Respect

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

Love & Respect Podcast

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

The Love and Respect Experience

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

The Love and Respect Experience

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Respectfully Yours

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

The Love and Respect Experience

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Love & Respect Podcast

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Respectfully Yours

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Building Blocks

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Before You Hit Send

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Building Blocks

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The Love and Respect Experience

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Building Blocks

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

The Language of Love & Respect Book

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

Love & Respect

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

The Love and Respect Experience

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

The Love and Respect Experience

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Love & Respect

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Love & Respect in the Family

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The Love and Respect Experience

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Before You Hit Send

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Building Blocks

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

Building Blocks

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Love & Respect Podcast

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

The Love and Respect Experience

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

The Love and Respect Experience

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Respectfully Yours

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Love & Respect

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

Love & Respect Book

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

The Love and Respect Experience - Prayers

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Love & Respect

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

The Love and Respect Experience

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

The Love and Respect Experience

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

God is good and wants what is best for us.

Respectfully Yours

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

The Language of Love & Respect Book

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

The Love and Respect Experience

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Respectfully Yours

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

The Love and Respect Experience

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

The Language of Love & Respect Book

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Love & Respect in the Family

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Building Blocks

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Love & Respect

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Love & Respect

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

The Language of Love & Respect

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

The Illumination Project (Journal)

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

The Love and Respect Experience

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Love & Respect

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Love & Respect

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Love & Respect

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

The Language of Love & Respect Book

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

Love & Respect

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Building Blocks

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

The Love and Respect Experience

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Respectfully Yours

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

The Illumination Project (Journal)

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Love & Respect for a Lifetime

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Language of Love & Respect Book

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

The Love and Respect Experience

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

The Love and Respect Experience

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

The Love and Respect Experience

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Building Blocks
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