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Building Blocks Workbook (Download)
This product is a companion workbook (download) to the Building Blocks series. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.
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Where To Buy
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Building Block DVD Sessions:
- Week 1: Pink and Blue: Not Wrong, Just Different (39 min.)
- Week 2: Hollywood or Holy Word? (25 min.)
- Week 3: 80:20 Ratio (41 min.)
- Week 4: Not Communication, but Mutual Understanding (33 min.)
- Week 5: My Response is My Responsibility (39 min.)
- Week 6: Review of the 5 Concepts (25 min.)
Building Blocks
Session Overviews
The seemingly simple statement of "I have nothing to wear" takes on a deeper significance when expressed by both a man and a woman, each with their unique interpretation. This disparity begs the question: How can two individuals utter the same words but carry entirely different intentions and emotions? The verse from Matthew 19:4 provides a profound insight into this phenomenon, reminding us of God's intentional creation of mankind as male and female. In this divine design, inherent dissimilarities exist that shape our perspectives, communication styles, and ways of processing information. Understanding and embracing these inherent differences are key to unraveling the complexities of relationships and fostering effective communication. By acknowledging and appreciating the distinct perspectives arising from our gender identities, we can navigate these intricacies with empathy, compassion, and a greater understanding of one another.
The question of "Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God's Holy Word?" invites deep introspection into the sources that influence our thoughts, beliefs, and values. In a world saturated with media and societal messages, it becomes crucial to discern the voice we prioritize. The verse from Romans 10:17 sheds light on the power of faith that stems from hearing and receiving the word of Christ. It emphasizes the significance of aligning our minds and hearts with the divine wisdom and guidance found in God's Holy Word. By intentionally seeking and absorbing the truths revealed in Scripture, we can filter out the noise of worldly influences and cultivate a stronger connection to God's transformative message. With the Word of God as our compass, we can navigate life's challenges, make decisions rooted in wisdom, and nurture a deepened relationship with our Creator.
The statement from God's Word that if we marry, we will encounter trouble raises an intriguing question: What kind of trouble do well-intentioned individuals face in marriage? The verse from 1 Corinthians 7:28 affirms that marriage itself is not sinful, but it acknowledges the reality that challenges and difficulties are an inherent part of married life. This acknowledgement prompts us to reflect on the nature of these troubles. While specific challenges may vary from couple to couple, the verse implies that even those with good intentions will inevitably encounter obstacles, conflicts, and trials along their marital journey. It serves as a reminder that relationships require effort, compromise, and constant growth. By recognizing the inevitability of such difficulties, we can approach them with resilience, empathy, and a willingness to work together to overcome obstacles, ultimately strengthening the bond between partners and nurturing a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
The importance of learning to speak and understand your spouse's language is emphasized as a pathway to achieving mutual understanding in a relationship. The verse from Matthew 12:34 provides a valuable insight into this concept, highlighting that our words reflect the thoughts and emotions that fill our hearts. When we take the time to truly listen and understand our partner's unique way of expressing themselves, we gain a deeper understanding of their inner world. By becoming attuned to their communication style, needs, and desires, we can bridge the gap between us and cultivate a sense of empathy and connection. When both partners make a sincere effort to communicate in a way that resonates with their spouse, they create an environment conducive to mutual understanding and emotional intimacy. This active pursuit of understanding, combined with open and compassionate communication, paves the way for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Understanding that no one has the power to dictate our reactions and emotions is a transformative realization that brings forth power and freedom in our lives. The verse from Proverbs 21:23 reinforces this concept, emphasizing the importance of guarding our words and actions to protect our inner well-being. It implies that by exercising control over our speech and behaviors, we can shield our souls from unnecessary troubles.
This wisdom speaks to the fundamental truth that our reactions are ultimately our own choices. Despite external circumstances or the actions of others, we have the ability to determine how we respond. Recognizing this empowers us to take ownership of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. It liberates us from being at the mercy of external factors and grants us the agency to choose love, understanding, and grace in the face of challenges.
By embracing this understanding, we can cultivate emotional resilience, maintain inner peace, and foster healthier relationships. Instead of being reactive, we can respond thoughtfully and intentionally, considering the impact of our words and actions. This shift in perspective allows us to break free from the cycle of negativity, conflict, and emotional turmoil. Ultimately, it enables us to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life, guided by wisdom and the understanding that our choices shape our experiences.
The bonus insights provided for the five catch phrases in Building Blocks Vol. 1 offer valuable additional understanding and application of the teachings. The verse from Matthew 25:21, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness,'" serves as a foundation for these insights.
This verse conveys the message of commendation and reward for faithfulness and stewardship. It reminds us of the importance of being faithful and responsible in the areas entrusted to us. The bonus insights in Building Blocks Vol. 1 expand on this principle, encouraging individuals to apply the teachings from the catch phrases in their own lives and relationships.
By embracing and implementing these insights, participants have the opportunity to demonstrate faithfulness, wisdom, and growth in their actions and interactions. They are reminded of the potential for greater responsibilities and blessings that come from being faithful in the smaller aspects of life. Ultimately, these bonus insights serve as a reminder that our choices and faithfulness in everyday matters have the potential to shape our future and lead to a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.
Through the lens of the verse from Matthew 25:21, participants are encouraged to apply the teachings, make wise choices, and live in a manner that reflects their commitment to being faithful and responsible stewards. By doing so, they can experience the joy and fulfillment that come from aligning their lives with God's principles and purposes.
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The Building Blocks Study
Each DVD session begins with Emerson giving a 10-20 minute overview of the concept, followed by a short discussion time. Emerson then gives a 10-20 minute teaching on how to apply the concept to each of the 3 Love and Respect cycles, followed by more discussion prompted by the study guide questions. This 6 week study is a fantastic follow up for those who have read the book or attended a conference, but also serves as a wonderful introduction to the Love and Respect message.
- Our Couple's Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 2 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Our Small Group Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 12 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Additional Study Guides are available as singles of in packages of 10. Each person participating will need a Study Guide.
Insights and Scriptures Explored in Building Blocks
In these sessions, the differences between men and women are explored, emphasizing that despite saying the same thing, they may mean something entirely different. The importance of aligning our beliefs with God's Word rather than societal influences like Hollywood is highlighted. The understanding that trouble can be expected in marriages, even for well-intentioned individuals, is discussed. The significance of speaking and comprehending one another's language for mutual understanding is emphasized. The power of personal choice and the freedom that comes with it is examined. Bonus insights are provided for the five catch phrases covered in Building Blocks Vol. 1, reinforcing the idea of being faithful in small things to experience greater blessings. Throughout these sessions, relevant verses from the Bible are referenced to support and provide guidance.
Read What Others Are Saying About Building Blocks!
…I have been thinking about doing something for our marriage for some time, but my husband was not in favor. He was always bothered by the method—one on one, and of course, the financial aspect. He decided to try Building Blocks primarily because the course was practically free. After five years this was our first planned and regular time away doing something for the two of us. At first, I was a bit skeptical about the religious aspect, since my husband has practically no experience or a negative attitude towards religion. But it turned out to be completely acceptable, probably because you do not reinforce it…My husband rarely wanted to think about these things—he thought it was meaningless. He heard things for the first time in Building Blocks and discovered things he never talked about before. Certain truths really inspired him and consequently, me too. We both remember lesson five: My Response is My Responsibility. It made the greatest impression on us. In fact, I think I will write this on the wall in the bedroom! Perhaps the most valuable insight for both is the fact that we are not alone in our troubles and that others have very similar challenges…
The love and respect course brought something nice in our relationship, which we did not even expect, because we did not know if we would hear anything new. I was cheering for the course because when I read the description I instinctively felt that we needed it. Although I had to start encouraging my husband to participate in the beginning, I must admit that during the course he became a major initiator of discussions and "homework", which enthused me and pleasantly surprised me. I noticed how strongly the content spoke to my husband and how it opened his heart, and helped him to express things he either did not know or know how to say it. We experienced each meeting like unwrapping a delicious candy that we enjoyed and savored ...The meetings were very pleasant, nothing intrusive, filled with a dice [sic] of humor and the richness of real experiences.
...When I look back, it seems to me that the individual lessons were so created that the tension increases with each lesson. It was like a good criminal novel. I found myself in every lesson. Although I had already heard certain content, I experienced them in a completely different way. Maybe more mature. Then came the fifth lesson: My Response is My Responsibility. BAM! The content hit me like "a-ton-of-bricks”, as if it was written for me personally. This lesson exposed my biggest challenge, which has crippled me for many years. Of course, this does not mean my problem with wrong responses will be solved overnight. If I rely on God's Word and ask for the help from the Holy Spirit then it will be easier.
This seminar in a small group format is a great idea where conversations intertwine...supported by video material and personal reflections. This is very effective in my opinion. I was personally impacted by the lesson “The 80:20 Ratio”, and especially the fifth lesson, "My Response is My Responsibility." In between sessions I tried to put into practice on the “open sea” what we were learning. It works! Of course, this is not a magic wand, but a very effective tool that actually demonstrates its usefulness only through practice.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
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Product Quotes
Husbands, even Jesus Himself was asked by a woman, “Do you not care?” (Luke 10:40) When your wife accuses you of not caring, decode her deeper meaning.
When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.
A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.
Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.
You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.
He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.
Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)
We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.
The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.
Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.
Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?
Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.
Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)
To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.
God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.
Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.
When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?
Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.
Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.
A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.
“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“
I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?
It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.
We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.
If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.
Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!
Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.
Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.
Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.
God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?
To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.
Christian maturity involves a lot of things, but surely it includes knowing how to process your anger.
Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.
Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.
How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.
Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).
Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).
[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.
Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?
To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.
You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.
Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.
[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.
Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.
When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.
With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.
Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"
Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.
The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.
You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.
In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)
Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.
God is good and wants what is best for us.
Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.
The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.
“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”
At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!
When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.
When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.
Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.
It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.
I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.
Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.
Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?
You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.
Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.
Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.
Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.
Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.
Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.
Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.
Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.
Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.
It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.
Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.
Negative actions rarely produce positive results.
We are worth Jesus to the Father.
Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.
As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!
Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.
You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”
We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”
As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.
She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.
Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.
There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.
No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.
Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?
You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.
It is hard to be negative while being thankful.
If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.
God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!
If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.
Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.
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