.svg)
Building Blocks Workbook (Download)
This product is a companion workbook (download) to the Building Blocks series. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.
.avif)
Where To Buy
.jpg)
Building Block DVD Sessions:
- Week 1: Pink and Blue: Not Wrong, Just Different (39 min.)
- Week 2: Hollywood or Holy Word? (25 min.)
- Week 3: 80:20 Ratio (41 min.)
- Week 4: Not Communication, but Mutual Understanding (33 min.)
- Week 5: My Response is My Responsibility (39 min.)
- Week 6: Review of the 5 Concepts (25 min.)
Building Blocks
Session Overviews
The seemingly simple statement of "I have nothing to wear" takes on a deeper significance when expressed by both a man and a woman, each with their unique interpretation. This disparity begs the question: How can two individuals utter the same words but carry entirely different intentions and emotions? The verse from Matthew 19:4 provides a profound insight into this phenomenon, reminding us of God's intentional creation of mankind as male and female. In this divine design, inherent dissimilarities exist that shape our perspectives, communication styles, and ways of processing information. Understanding and embracing these inherent differences are key to unraveling the complexities of relationships and fostering effective communication. By acknowledging and appreciating the distinct perspectives arising from our gender identities, we can navigate these intricacies with empathy, compassion, and a greater understanding of one another.
The question of "Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God's Holy Word?" invites deep introspection into the sources that influence our thoughts, beliefs, and values. In a world saturated with media and societal messages, it becomes crucial to discern the voice we prioritize. The verse from Romans 10:17 sheds light on the power of faith that stems from hearing and receiving the word of Christ. It emphasizes the significance of aligning our minds and hearts with the divine wisdom and guidance found in God's Holy Word. By intentionally seeking and absorbing the truths revealed in Scripture, we can filter out the noise of worldly influences and cultivate a stronger connection to God's transformative message. With the Word of God as our compass, we can navigate life's challenges, make decisions rooted in wisdom, and nurture a deepened relationship with our Creator.
The statement from God's Word that if we marry, we will encounter trouble raises an intriguing question: What kind of trouble do well-intentioned individuals face in marriage? The verse from 1 Corinthians 7:28 affirms that marriage itself is not sinful, but it acknowledges the reality that challenges and difficulties are an inherent part of married life. This acknowledgement prompts us to reflect on the nature of these troubles. While specific challenges may vary from couple to couple, the verse implies that even those with good intentions will inevitably encounter obstacles, conflicts, and trials along their marital journey. It serves as a reminder that relationships require effort, compromise, and constant growth. By recognizing the inevitability of such difficulties, we can approach them with resilience, empathy, and a willingness to work together to overcome obstacles, ultimately strengthening the bond between partners and nurturing a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
The importance of learning to speak and understand your spouse's language is emphasized as a pathway to achieving mutual understanding in a relationship. The verse from Matthew 12:34 provides a valuable insight into this concept, highlighting that our words reflect the thoughts and emotions that fill our hearts. When we take the time to truly listen and understand our partner's unique way of expressing themselves, we gain a deeper understanding of their inner world. By becoming attuned to their communication style, needs, and desires, we can bridge the gap between us and cultivate a sense of empathy and connection. When both partners make a sincere effort to communicate in a way that resonates with their spouse, they create an environment conducive to mutual understanding and emotional intimacy. This active pursuit of understanding, combined with open and compassionate communication, paves the way for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Understanding that no one has the power to dictate our reactions and emotions is a transformative realization that brings forth power and freedom in our lives. The verse from Proverbs 21:23 reinforces this concept, emphasizing the importance of guarding our words and actions to protect our inner well-being. It implies that by exercising control over our speech and behaviors, we can shield our souls from unnecessary troubles.
This wisdom speaks to the fundamental truth that our reactions are ultimately our own choices. Despite external circumstances or the actions of others, we have the ability to determine how we respond. Recognizing this empowers us to take ownership of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. It liberates us from being at the mercy of external factors and grants us the agency to choose love, understanding, and grace in the face of challenges.
By embracing this understanding, we can cultivate emotional resilience, maintain inner peace, and foster healthier relationships. Instead of being reactive, we can respond thoughtfully and intentionally, considering the impact of our words and actions. This shift in perspective allows us to break free from the cycle of negativity, conflict, and emotional turmoil. Ultimately, it enables us to live a more fulfilling and purposeful life, guided by wisdom and the understanding that our choices shape our experiences.
The bonus insights provided for the five catch phrases in Building Blocks Vol. 1 offer valuable additional understanding and application of the teachings. The verse from Matthew 25:21, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness,'" serves as a foundation for these insights.
This verse conveys the message of commendation and reward for faithfulness and stewardship. It reminds us of the importance of being faithful and responsible in the areas entrusted to us. The bonus insights in Building Blocks Vol. 1 expand on this principle, encouraging individuals to apply the teachings from the catch phrases in their own lives and relationships.
By embracing and implementing these insights, participants have the opportunity to demonstrate faithfulness, wisdom, and growth in their actions and interactions. They are reminded of the potential for greater responsibilities and blessings that come from being faithful in the smaller aspects of life. Ultimately, these bonus insights serve as a reminder that our choices and faithfulness in everyday matters have the potential to shape our future and lead to a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.
Through the lens of the verse from Matthew 25:21, participants are encouraged to apply the teachings, make wise choices, and live in a manner that reflects their commitment to being faithful and responsible stewards. By doing so, they can experience the joy and fulfillment that come from aligning their lives with God's principles and purposes.
.webp)
The Building Blocks Study
Each DVD session begins with Emerson giving a 10-20 minute overview of the concept, followed by a short discussion time. Emerson then gives a 10-20 minute teaching on how to apply the concept to each of the 3 Love and Respect cycles, followed by more discussion prompted by the study guide questions. This 6 week study is a fantastic follow up for those who have read the book or attended a conference, but also serves as a wonderful introduction to the Love and Respect message.
- Our Couple's Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 2 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Our Small Group Kit includes: The DVD's containing all 6 sessions, 12 Study Guides and 1 of our keepsake "Building Blocks"
- Additional Study Guides are available as singles of in packages of 10. Each person participating will need a Study Guide.
Insights and Scriptures Explored in Building Blocks
In these sessions, the differences between men and women are explored, emphasizing that despite saying the same thing, they may mean something entirely different. The importance of aligning our beliefs with God's Word rather than societal influences like Hollywood is highlighted. The understanding that trouble can be expected in marriages, even for well-intentioned individuals, is discussed. The significance of speaking and comprehending one another's language for mutual understanding is emphasized. The power of personal choice and the freedom that comes with it is examined. Bonus insights are provided for the five catch phrases covered in Building Blocks Vol. 1, reinforcing the idea of being faithful in small things to experience greater blessings. Throughout these sessions, relevant verses from the Bible are referenced to support and provide guidance.
Read What Others Are Saying About Building Blocks!
…I have been thinking about doing something for our marriage for some time, but my husband was not in favor. He was always bothered by the method—one on one, and of course, the financial aspect. He decided to try Building Blocks primarily because the course was practically free. After five years this was our first planned and regular time away doing something for the two of us. At first, I was a bit skeptical about the religious aspect, since my husband has practically no experience or a negative attitude towards religion. But it turned out to be completely acceptable, probably because you do not reinforce it…My husband rarely wanted to think about these things—he thought it was meaningless. He heard things for the first time in Building Blocks and discovered things he never talked about before. Certain truths really inspired him and consequently, me too. We both remember lesson five: My Response is My Responsibility. It made the greatest impression on us. In fact, I think I will write this on the wall in the bedroom! Perhaps the most valuable insight for both is the fact that we are not alone in our troubles and that others have very similar challenges…
The love and respect course brought something nice in our relationship, which we did not even expect, because we did not know if we would hear anything new. I was cheering for the course because when I read the description I instinctively felt that we needed it. Although I had to start encouraging my husband to participate in the beginning, I must admit that during the course he became a major initiator of discussions and "homework", which enthused me and pleasantly surprised me. I noticed how strongly the content spoke to my husband and how it opened his heart, and helped him to express things he either did not know or know how to say it. We experienced each meeting like unwrapping a delicious candy that we enjoyed and savored ...The meetings were very pleasant, nothing intrusive, filled with a dice [sic] of humor and the richness of real experiences.
...When I look back, it seems to me that the individual lessons were so created that the tension increases with each lesson. It was like a good criminal novel. I found myself in every lesson. Although I had already heard certain content, I experienced them in a completely different way. Maybe more mature. Then came the fifth lesson: My Response is My Responsibility. BAM! The content hit me like "a-ton-of-bricks”, as if it was written for me personally. This lesson exposed my biggest challenge, which has crippled me for many years. Of course, this does not mean my problem with wrong responses will be solved overnight. If I rely on God's Word and ask for the help from the Holy Spirit then it will be easier.
This seminar in a small group format is a great idea where conversations intertwine...supported by video material and personal reflections. This is very effective in my opinion. I was personally impacted by the lesson “The 80:20 Ratio”, and especially the fifth lesson, "My Response is My Responsibility." In between sessions I tried to put into practice on the “open sea” what we were learning. It works! Of course, this is not a magic wand, but a very effective tool that actually demonstrates its usefulness only through practice.
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
About Love & Respect.jpg)
Product Quotes
One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.
When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.
Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?
Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?
Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).
When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.
We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.
A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.
His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.
Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.
If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.
Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.
So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”
Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.
When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.
Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.
A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.
Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.
When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.
We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.
Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.
We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.
Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.
You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.
Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.
With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.
Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).
Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.
Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.
We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”
When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.
You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.
A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.
The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)
Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.
Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.
Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
Husbands, to energize your wife give her face-to-face time, allowing her to talk and share her feelings.
As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.
Your words reveal your heart.
Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.
Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.
A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.
He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.
Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.
When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.
Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.
When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.
We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.
We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.
Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.
The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.
We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.
If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.
When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.
Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.
The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.
Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.
We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.
In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)
God is good and wants what is best for us.
If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.
The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.
“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.
We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.
Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.
It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.
Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)
The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.
Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.
The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.
Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?
Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires
Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.
Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.
Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.
Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.
When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?
When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.
Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.
Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.
The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.
We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.
Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.
If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.
Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.
I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson
Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).
It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.
Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.
Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.
She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.
.svg)
.svg)
