Amor Y Respeto - Cuaderno De Trabajo: Videoconferencia (Descargar PDF)

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Research shows that 70% of the couples who were extremely unhappy in their marriage, but hung in there and worked through the tough time, identified themselves as being very happy five years later.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

Your words reveal your heart.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.