Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

A parent needs to feel respected, especially during conflicts...A child need to feel loved, especially during disputes.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

We get on the Crazy Cycle because without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Do you seek to understand or only to be understood?

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

Mistakes can’t be undone, but they can be forgiven.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).