Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

If a husband loves his wife as he should, she will feel honored and respected. If a wife respects her husband as she should, he will feel loved and appreciated. It’s a win-win.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Share what God is saying to your heart, not what you think He needs to say to your mate.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Unconditional respect means we confront their wrongdoings respectfully. We do not become uncivil because they are. Who they fail to be does not determine who we will be.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

God is good and wants what is best for us.

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.