Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

Clarifying is what you do before you step on your mate’s air hose and deflate his or her spirit. For example, you are having a typical conversation, but you can tell there is a misunderstanding. One of you isn’t being clear or isn’t hearing correctly. Then and there you clarify the misunderstanding before your spouse’s spirit deflates. You lovingly or respectfully clarify matters so that your spouse will not feel unloved or disrespected. The reason you take pains to clarify a seemingly small matter is to prevent the situation from becoming a love and respect issue that needs decoding. Clarifying is what you do to stay off the Crazy Cycle and keep positive, energetic feelings flowing between the two of you, to keep yourselves on the Energizing Cycle.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

“Respect is a man’s deepest value. I have had numerous men tell me, ‘I would rather live with a wife who respected me but did not love me than live with a wife who loved me but did not respect me.’ These men are not saying that they are indifferent to love. They know they need love, but they need to feel respected even more than they need to feel loved.“

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

We can all have moments of anger, but this does not mean we have to lose control and sin.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Could you be facing a crisis in faith more than a crisis in your marriage?

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

The more we are upset at something, the wiser it is to let twenty-four hours pass before responding.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Negative actions rarely produce positive results.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Focus on the positive in the midst of the negative, and the Energizing Cycle will keep right on humming.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Good intentions do not always produce good words or outcomes.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

He will feel appreciated when you disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the kids.

When you come home after you have been apart, the first few moments of reconnecting will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

In the ultimate sense you marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Your words reveal your heart.

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.