Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

When a husband chooses to come across lovingly even though he feels disrespected, he can prevent the Crazy Cycle from spinning and possibly getting out of control.

You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

You can experience hurt, but it is your choice to hate.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative with lots of love and respect in between.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Fight like a loving man and a respectful woman. Fight fair.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

As a husband, if you can grasp that you don’t always have to solve your wife’s problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Thank the Lord for all the trouble-free moments in which you and your spouse enjoy Him, each other, your family, your ministry and life as a whole. Ask Him for the strength to accept your measure of trouble, and the wisdom to deal with the annoyances and irritations by loving and respecting each other with new commitment. (You may also want to pray about troubles at work, at church, with the children…) “But those who marry will have trouble in this life” (1 Corinthians 7:28)

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

God’s commands are there to help us, not to hinder us or hold us back as male and female.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

When a wife asks, “Do you love me?” She is not trying to put her husband on the spot. She is simply looking for reassurance.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Let the Lord change you, but don’t try to change each other.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean the other person is offensive.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

No one can really practice Love and Respect unless he or she does it as unto Jesus Christ.

[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.