Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

Men are solution oriented, they love to solve problems. They want to be helpful.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

You can be right in the argument, but wrong in your approach.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

A marriage relationship will be energized when couples learn how to motivate each other God’s way.

We must bring our identity in Christ to our parenting—we must not derive our identity from our children.

Love and Respect is a faith venture, not a formula.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Optimism or pessimism? It is always a choice, no matter what your natural temperament.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”

If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

A wife has one driving need: to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need: to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy with conflict.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.

Always remember that Pink and Blue have different wiring, different preferences. Assume your spouse has goodwill toward you, no matter what. Both of you can be right, while being different.

[Women], as you enter quiet dignity, not preaching at your husband or scolding him as though you were his mother, something happens in his soul as a male.

The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It’s as simple- and as difficult- as that.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Your words reveal your heart.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

One thing to remember in this culture is if we say something complimentary towards one gender, we aren’t saying something against the other.

You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

A most significant point of this book is this: If what we think is true, kind, necessary, and clear, we need to have the courage to hit send. This isn’t about refraining from speaking; this is about speaking.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

Your marriage is a test of your devotion to Christ.

The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need, especially during conflict.

Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

If a husband chooses to be a peacemaker--taking the needs and concerns of his wife totally into account during any kind of argument or conflict--his wife will be motivated in turn to respond to his authority during stalemates.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.

We are equal but we are not the same.

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

The mature one in the marriage seldom moves second.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.

Stay the course regardless of the child’s respect and obedience. This is the Family Rewarded Cycle: a parents love unto Christ regardless of the child.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.