Love and Respect Wife + Logo Mug

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.

Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

We all need love and respect equally. But, during conflict our felt needs are as different as pink is from blue.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

Do you understand that God feels compassion for you, no matter what you have done or what your circumstances may be?

Your spouse has a need only you can fill.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

Words of Love or Respect must uplift your spouse, edifying- never manipulating him or her.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Your words reveal your heart.

Words of wisdom for all husbands and wives are these: We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

When a husband chooses to do or say something loving, and that includes saying, ‘I’m sorry for coming across in an unloving way,’ he energizes his wife. When a wife decides to express herself respectfully, and that includes apologizing for her disrespectful attitude, she energizes her husband.

Though the end can be worthy (to be loved and respected), when each uses unholy means (unloving and disrespectful words and actions), it will not achieve those ends. We must treat others as we expect them to treat us. To deny this makes us arrogant or fools, or both.

Your wife will feel esteemed when you speak highly of her in front of others.

Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25)

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

Money squabbles don’t undermine love and respect; they simply reveal unloving and disrespectful attitudes, which are the real reason why a marriage can start to wobble on the Crazy Cycle.

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

You cannot use unholy means to achieve a worthy end.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.

Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.

Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

We blame people for the bad things we do, but take credit for the good things we do.

Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Thank God for His forgiveness of your mistakes. In trying to be a loving man or a respectful woman, we blow it. Owning up to mistakes is never easy, but it is always the way to move forward. Take good care not to accuse your spouse of mistakes as you pray. Also, pray about any forgiving to be done in the family, any forgiveness that needs to be asked. Children may need forgiveness (and what about Mom and Dad?). “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Suppressing negative feelings is not loving, respectful or very wise. Speak up tactfully.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

When you play the blame game your marriage never wins.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.

Do you give yourself grace and your spouse judgment?

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

If you want your wife to express appreciation for your attempts to be loving, you must use thankful words when she tries to speak or act respectfully.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?

Your spouse can have a need that you don’t have and that’s okay.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Thank God for joining you together and for allowing you to trust Him to help you, whatever the issue. God is there for you and expects you to look to Him to keep you together as a team, so ask Him for His help in the smallest of concerns. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

A wife has one driving need--to feel loved. When that need is met she is happy. A husband has one driving need--to feel respected. When that need is met he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

Your spouse has a need that you don’t have. Are you going to say there is something seriously wrong with them or will you say “Viva la Difference”?

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Parenting is a faith venture. As we parent “unto Christ” we reap God’s reward, “knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord” (Eph. 6:8 NKJV)

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

When we feel crippling discouragement by the sinful choices and outcomes of our kids, we must not let this permanently deter us from parenting God’s way.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Wives, to energize your husband do an activity with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, without talking.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.